If you think your spouse may be hiding marital assets, here are a few tips to help locate them. This isn’t everything you need to know but it’ll get you started.
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Author: Pat Gaudette
Her Husband Is A Chatroom Cheat
She said her husband uses online chat rooms to meet women. He says it’s only harmless fun even though he is planning to meet a woman he met online. She says it’s far from being harmless.
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Virtual Relationships And Online Betrayals
Do you tell total strangers your most intimate secrets and desires? Do you share details about yourself that you wouldn’t even tell your spouse when you know nothing about the person you are telling those details to? Would you have phone sex with someone whose number was carved on the wall of a subway restroom?
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Leave His Family For Someone He Met Online?
He wants to leave his wife and children for a married woman he’s been having an online affair with. They’ve chatted online and talked on the phone but they’ve never met in real life.
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Games Cyber Lovers Can Play
She was sitting next to me on the plane, flying to meet her online boyfriend. They met online several months before and this would be their second weekend together. She called him her “fiance” but said there would be no wedding even though he had asked her to marry him.
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Chatroom Soul Mates
He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. She’s the perfect woman. Your whole day gets brighter when your cyber soulmate emails or IMs a sweet greeting. Cyber love isn’t impossible but what happens if your cyber soulmate is already married or is a chatroom “player”?
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Is Sex In An Open Marriage Adultery?
She’s involved with a married man and responding to an article I wrote about adultery. She says the situation is a win-win for her because she’s picky about who she has sex with, him because he gets good sex outside of his marriage, and his wife because she doesn’t have to be bothered. She wonders if a relationship in which the wife agrees to her husband having a girlfriend would still be considered adultery.
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Fortune Cookie Wisdom
Sometimes simple wisdom can come from the most unlikely of places. I’ve always enjoyed reading the fortune cookies brought along with the check at most Chinese restaurants. The “fortunes” are generic and could easily fit anyone who receives them.
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Fear Of Being Homeless
Recently, I talked with a man who is just starting the divorce process. I don’t know what caused his marriage to sour and I didn’t ask for details. What he did share with me is that his wife wants the divorce and he is the one who has moved out of the house they’ve shared for almost 20 years. It is a second divorce for both of them but even though he has been through the process before, this time is more difficult.
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Keep Moving Forward
I was caught in slow moving traffic, behind a large truck. No matter which lane I moved to, the truck was just a little quicker. It wasn’t that the driver was trying to keep me behind him, he was trying to find the fastest lane, just as I was, and most of the other drivers around us.
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Adjusting To Being Alone
I’ve been divorced twice, the first divorce was my choice, the second was his. Even though the circumstances of each was different, one phase immediately after we separated, was similar. I had to adjust to being alone.
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Divorce And Depression
Feelings of sadness are part of the divorce process regardless of which person initiated the divorce or how dysfunctional the marriage may have been. It’s important to accept that sadness and not turn it into more than it is.
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The Stigma Of Divorce
With the chance of a marriage ending in divorce running over 50 percent, it would seem that divorce will be just another stage of life for many people. Would you date someone who is divorced or would you consider them “used goods”? If you’re divorced, do you feel that divorce brands you unfairly?
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Decision Time: Stay Or Go?
Only you can decide if your marriage is too bad to stay in it. Regardless of advice others give you, they won’t have to live your life. Weigh the advantages of staying against the advantages of leaving. If leaving significantly outweighs staying, your choice should be fairly simple.
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Dating With Children
The way children respond to divorce will be as varied as the participants and the circumstances. No one likes divorce, but some people (and children) are more mature handling it than others. In some cases, the children may welcome the fact that violence, abuse, and anger (if these were ingredients of the marriage) are no longer a part of their daily life.
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Is She A Bad Mother For Leaving?
She is planning to leave an abusive marriage as soon as she gets a full-time job. Because her twin sons are also verbally abusive toward her, she plans on leaving home alone so she can rebuild her self-esteem. She wonders if this will make her an unfit mother.
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What Is a Stay-at-Home Wife Worth?
According to a story which appeared in the May 99 issue of the Washington Post, $508,700 a year might be a good estimate of a wife’s worth. That figure was according to a study by Edelman Financial Services Inc, based in Fairfax, VA.
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Proving She’s Sexually Attractive
Her husband left her for another woman and their divorce is almost final. He was the only man she’d ever had sex with. Now she’s dressing sexily and lusting after her married co-workers. She’s scared to death but also wondering what harm could come from sex for the sake of sex.
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Revenge Or Concern?
Their divorce is final and her ex is living with a woman who is still married. They share custody of their son and she thinks the son is at risk when he’s at the ex’s home.
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Joint Custody Or Sole Custody?
Not every parent is a good parent or a good role model for their kids. Decisions regarding custody arrangements should be based on what is best for the kids.
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Contested or Adversarial Divorce
Regardless of how much in love a couple was when they walked down the aisle on their wedding day, few couples are willing to part ways in a friendly manner.
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Ronald Reagan: The Divorced U.S. President
As surprising as it seemed to some that a former Hollywood actor was elected U.S. President, Ronald Reagan also held another distinction: he is the only divorced person to become president. Divorce did not define him, or prevent him for going after and getting the things he most wanted. Being divorced did not keep him from later meeting and marrying the woman who would stay by his side for the rest of his life.
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His Other Girlfriends
Divorced men don’t have to limit themselves to one girlfriend at a time and some men don’t. Divorced women, too, are under no obligation to date just one man at a time.
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Ex-Wives
Ex-wives can pose special problems, particularly if they are the ones who wanted the divorce. “I think if Jack had been the one to leave, if it had been his decision and his choice, everything would be different,” Kerry says.
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Dangerous Daughters
A man’s daughter can be your biggest ally in the relationship you have with her father. Daughters can also be threats or perceived as threats to a relationship.
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She’s Divorced, He’s Married
She’s newly divorced, he’s in a bad marriage but concerned what divorce would do to his 3-year old son. They have been dating platonically for a couple months, are in love, and feel that they are soul mates. She wonders if she should wait for him to get a divorce.
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Her Boyfriend’s Nasty Divorce
Her new boyfriend is in the final stages of a very nasty divorce. She wants tips on how to be supportive without overwhelming him.
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He’s Divorced, She’s Not
He’s recently divorced after 23 years of marriage. He is emotionally involved with a woman who is married but “planning to do something soon.” He wonders if he should continue pursuing her considering the circumstances.
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Divorced And Looking For Men To Date
She’s in her mid-50s and divorced after her husband left her for another woman. She wants to get married again but can’t seem to meet people she would like to date.
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What I’d Tell My Daughter About Sex
I’ve never had children so I haven’t had to give the “sex talk.” However, having been raised to consider sex as a woman’s obligation and something that only “bad girls” did unless they were married, I would have been well prepared to discuss the subject with my own daughter.
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Safe Sex
How does a woman who was too embarrassed to discuss sex with her husband approach the subject of safe sex when she begins dating after divorce? Some women don’t, only to find that their new sex partner has infected them with a painful STD or life-threatening disease.
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Sex Before Marriage
Before the “Age of Aquarius” and free love, it was well known that only “bad girls” had sexual experience before they were married. “Good girls” waited and were virgins on their wedding night. At least that’s what my mother told me all those decades ago.
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Sex After Divorce
Some women continue to have sex with their ex-husband after divorce even if there’s no hope of reconciliation. In some cases they feel degraded after every sexual encounter.
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Sex And The Divorced Woman
Jumping into the dating pool after divorce can be extremely confusing particularly for the woman who has been in a long term marriage. It may seem that the dating rules have changed, and they have to some extent, but when it comes to sex and the newly divorced woman, common sense applies.
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Arbitration
Arbitration is an option to contested divorce litigation. Each person is still represented by their own attorney but their issues are discussed in front of an arbitrator who makes the final decision instead of a judge.
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Mediation
Mediation is a less adversarial method of divorce. Mediation is often required when a couple is going through an contested divorce. In mediation, the divorcing couple meets with a divorce mediator who helps them come to agreement regarding property distribution, children’s issues, and other matters.
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When Grown Kids Are Tyrants
She has been dating a divorced dad for over three years and their relationship has progressed to talk of marriage. The problem is his 24-year-old daughter who doesn’t want another woman in her father’s life and is giving ultimatums.
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I Am An Adult Child of Divorce
My parents separated while I was working and still living at home (in that decade single females didn’t live away from home until they got married). Theirs had been a rocky marriage for many years so divorce was not unexpected. The fact that they remained in the same house during the separation and after the divorce made for some tense times, as might be expected.
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Dating A Divorced Dad
She says the friendship she’s had with a newly divorced father of two small children is getting more serious. She’s been checked out by the ex-wife and met the children once. He wants her to come home with him and spend the night (so far they haven’t been intimate).
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Second Marriage On Shaky Ground
Her husband’s grown daughter from a previous marriage has been sending pictures of his grandkids. She’s worried because he’s getting moody and talking about growing old. She’s concerned that he might be starting a midlife crisis.
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The Price The Next Spouse Pays
Marrying a divorced person can be hazardous if you’re not prepared to accept all the “extras” they bring with them. Divorce does not wipe out a person’s history in the same manner that reformatting a computer’s hard drive deletes old programs.
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He’s Not Ready To Date
He wrote to say he’s in the process of a divorce that he really doesn’t want because he still loves his wife. At the same time, after more than eight months of separation, he has now met someone he’d like to date. He wonders whether he should start looking out for his needs or continue hoping his wife will come back.
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Your Future Starts Today
Regardless of how your life has gone up to this very moment, today begins the rest of your life. Do you want to spend today and tomorrow, and tomorrow after that, waiting for someone who says they no longer love you? Aren’t you worth more than that?
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Instant Divorce In India
It’s called “instant divorce” or “triple talaq” and Muslim men have been using it to divorce their wives in a matter of minutes over the phone, by mail, and through mobile phone text messages.
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Cutting Expenses After Divorce
If divorce has lowered your standard of living, which is more likely than not, there are some ways you can cut costs that you may not have thought about. Limiting your spending doesn’t make you a failure any more than how much you can buy should define you as a person.
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Your Teen And Divorce
If you’re the mother of a teen, and you and your husband are having marital difficulties, your teen already knows the marriage is in trouble. Here are some of the things they don’t need to hear:
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Children Of Divorce
If there are major losers in a divorce, it has to be the kids who are caught in the middle between two warring people they love dearly. It’s not unusual for kids to be used as bargaining chips or held for emotional ransom. Other times they must choose one parent over the other. No matter what role the child has within the family, he or she is an unwilling participant in this very brutal and emotional event.
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To Flirt Or Not To Flirt
Her divorce is just starting and her husband is living with the “other woman.” She’s looking for love in all the wrong places, and far too soon. She said: “I am having all these lustful thoughts about some of the men I work with. There about 8 men at work that I feel like if I could get one in the conference room for just a few minutes this fire would go out.”
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My Do-It-Yourself Divorces
I have been divorced twice and each divorce was primarily a “do-it-yourself” even though I did have an attorney for the first one. I was fortunate that my attorney was a former co-worker who agreed to do the paperwork and filings for my divorce. He was not a divorce lawyer but my needs were more for someone who could assist me through the legalities than represent me in a court battle.
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From Wedding To Divorce?
A few years ago, when I read an AP Special Features article titled “Brides advised to start early for flawless hair and makeup,” an overview of an article in Town & Country, I couldn’t help but get annoyed. The magazine article was focused on making the wedding day the day in a woman’s life.
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