Did you forget your vow to love your husband or wife “for better or for worse“? Most marriages contain a lot of “for worse” days. What else could you expect when you live full time with another person? You will see them at their best as well as at their very worst.
Continue reading “…Or For Worse”
Author: Pat Gaudette
Revenge
When an email with a virus attached caused several of my programs to crash, it put me behind in some of my work commitments. Computers are the foundation of my business. The virus came at the worst possible time as I was on “critical” deadline getting a print publication to press.
Continue reading “Revenge”
Forgiving
If I had to think of a situation that was less conducive to forgiving another’s behavior, it would have to be when a marriage is falling apart. How can you possibly be expected to forgive your spouse for cheating, or lying, or being an abuser? It’s too much to ask! Or is it?
Continue reading “Forgiving”
Carried Away By Anger
The way we react to another’s anger, or for that matter, the way we react and interact with others will determine how others interact with us.
Continue reading “Carried Away By Anger”
Things Best Forgotten
At some time in your life you’re bound to make the acquaintance of someone who refuses to forget details of incidents that have happened during your relationship with them, details best forgotten because they cause you grief at each retelling. Incidents that should have been forgiven and forgotten long ago.
Continue reading “Things Best Forgotten”
When “I Can’t” Means “I Won’t”
All of us have things that we absolutely can’t do. When we encounter certain situations and tell someone we “can’t” we are stating a fact, not being obstinate or difficult. “Can’t” works when we are unable to do something because of a physical, mental, emotional, financial, or other limitation that is totally out of our control.
Continue reading “When “I Can’t” Means “I Won’t””
Disagreement Or Verbal Abuse?
“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest — never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.” — Ann Landers.
Continue reading “Disagreement Or Verbal Abuse?”
Anger And Forgiveness
“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” — Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart.
Continue reading “Anger And Forgiveness”
The IRS’s Innocent Spouse Clause
“…the IRS wants to collect over $680,000 from me for my ex-husband’s tax avoidance schemes…” excerpt from Elizabeth Cockrel’s story.
Continue reading “The IRS’s Innocent Spouse Clause”
Calculating Your Financial Needs
Money may or may not be the root of all evil but it certainly can cause serious problems within a marriage. Is your marriage failing because of financial problems? Do you know what your financial obligations are and what it takes to meet them on a weekly, monthly, and annual basis?
Continue reading “Calculating Your Financial Needs”
Stock Options And Divorce
While stock options aren’t new, they definitely are more “in vogue” among employers to hire the best employees and then to keep them for a period of time until the options become vested (and redeemable). Of course, companies hope that employees will work for them because they enjoy what they’re doing, and that they’re in it for the long term, but it doesn’t always work that way.
Continue reading “Stock Options And Divorce”
Dividing The Marital Spoils
How civilized will you be when it comes to dividing the marital property? If you’re currently going through an adversarial divorce, you probably don’t remember the time when you were so in love with your spouse that you believed love was all you ever needed to make you happy. Now you know better.
Continue reading “Dividing The Marital Spoils”
The Divorce Of Charles And Diana
Princess Diana’s death in a car crash in Paris, August 31, 1997, shocked the world. Never could anyone remotely imagine the impact the death of the ex-wife of England’s Prince Charles would make upon history itself.
Continue reading “The Divorce Of Charles And Diana”
Don Juans, Casanovas, And Other Men
In Scarlet Women, Femme Fatales, and Other Women I listed high profile women and the persons to whom they have been linked romantically. I thought it was interesting, and hope you did also. In this article I serve up the men.
Continue reading “Don Juans, Casanovas, And Other Men”
Her Cyber Lover’s Betrayal
She met her soon-to-be-husband online in a chat room for divorced singles. Their real life meetings had been intense, and, while the exact details of their upcoming marriage hadn’t been worked out, she knew this was the man who would share her future.
Continue reading “Her Cyber Lover’s Betrayal”
Women Over 40
Many men question why their wives are acting the way they are. All of a sudden they are different. Midlife is pointed to as the reason. Continue reading “Women Over 40”
The Perfect Wife
“The Stepford Wives” is a 1975 movie about the upscale community of Stepford where all the husbands have beautiful, robot-like wives who devote their lives to cleaning their houses and satisfying their husbands. Sounds like the perfect marriage, doesn’t it? Most of the Stepford husbands thought it was.
Continue reading “The Perfect Wife”
The Negatives Of Pot Smoking
Even though there may be potential good effects marijuana might provide when used for the right reasons, I’m going to focus on the negative aspects of pot smoking. That won’t endear me to pot smokers of the world but that’s fine.
Continue reading “The Negatives Of Pot Smoking”
She’s Married To A Pothead
She is 25, has a 3-year old daughter, and has been married for four years to a man who promised he would quit smoking pot when they got married. His habit has turned from weekend toking to everyday use. She can’t make him give up the pot so she is going to file for divorce and wonders how to tell him that she’s leaving.
Continue reading “She’s Married To A Pothead”
Will The Bottle Win Again?
He wrote: “I am currently being divorced by my wife. The only problem in our marriage was my binge drinking. We were best friends and I guess my wife feels she has no alternative but to divorce me. I have been trying to stay sober, but could not go more than about two months without a relapse. Then, I would hang my head with regret and embarrassment and go back to AA.”
Continue reading “Will The Bottle Win Again?”
Living With An Alcoholic
No one purposely seeks out problem drinkers or alcoholics for life mates. In many cases, the drinking becomes a problem long after we have settled into a marriage. Long after we have placed ourselves in the hands of this man or this woman that we treasure above all others.
Continue reading “Living With An Alcoholic”
She’s Married To An Alcoholic
She wrote: “Please help me, My husband has been drinking for years, he drink while my children were at home. I stay with him for the children sake. We have grown girls now all married. I always wanted to leave, but he said I could never take his girls. He always told me I had nowhere to go, he would never let me work, so here I am stuck. I have no skills.”
Continue reading “She’s Married To An Alcoholic”
Treating Children As Adults
Generally when we think about children and divorce and the harm that divorce may have on them, the thoughts are more toward younger children. They’re the helpless ones, the ones dependent upon their parents for food, shelter, comfort.
Continue reading “Treating Children As Adults”
When Parents Divorce
Here’s what she wrote in her email to me: “I’m interested in teenagers and how divorce affects them. Specifically when one parent (father in this case) divulges all information to the child and uses son as sounding board. Has created huge chasm in mother/son relationship.”
Continue reading “When Parents Divorce”
How Are Your Children Handling The Divorce?
The following are the stories of four children from three separate marriages which ended in divorce when the children were in their mid to late teens.
Continue reading “How Are Your Children Handling The Divorce?”
Custody Battles
Must the children pay the price when their parents stop loving each other? Divorce is an angry, painful time. That’s understandable. When two people have shared their lives and then one decides that life is no longer worth sharing, there will be enormous suffering by both partners.
Continue reading “Custody Battles”
Threat Of The Other Woman
The two of you are in love with the same man but there’s just one problem, he’s married to you and cheating with her. What keeps a woman involved with a man who is married?
Continue reading “Threat Of The Other Woman”
Foolish Choices In The Name Of Love
We all do stupid things in the name of love. Some things are much more “stupid” than others. Of course, while we’re doing them, and sometimes even after the love is long gone, we still don’t see what we could have done differently.
Continue reading “Foolish Choices In The Name Of Love”
Jesse Jackson’s Affair
When Jesse Jackson made public the fact that he had fathered a child as a result of an extramarital affair, he received the support of colleagues and other public figures. After all, he had done nothing that many others hadn’t already done and he was owning up to his responsibilities and showing remorse for his actions.
Continue reading “Jesse Jackson’s Affair”
His Wife Isn’t Attracted To Him
Eleven years after they were married, he cheated and left her for the other woman. Shortly after their divorce, he realized he’d made a mistake, and they were remarried. Now, twelve years later, after she had a brief affair, she says she isn’t attracted to him anymore, needs passion in her life, and wants a divorce.
Continue reading “His Wife Isn’t Attracted To Him”
Too Little, Much Too Late?
He has cheated multiple times always promising his wife each affair would be his last affair. She has finally had enough and has filed for divorce. He asks: “Do you have any suggestions as to what my (our) next step should be, am I approaching this problem correctly? I love my wife, and am ready to commit my heart and soul in preserving it for good. I can’t even think of not being there for my girls or leaving them practically fatherless. And I know in my heart we can have a long and successful marriage.”
Continue reading “Too Little, Much Too Late?”
She’s In Love With A Married Man
She says her married lover has lived with her for more than a year and recently moved out to decide. Her divorce was final a few months ago. She thinks her lover may have moved back with his wife even though he does sleepovers with her quite often. She wants to know what she should do.
Continue reading “She’s In Love With A Married Man”
Snooping To Catch A Cybercheat
If you suspect that your husband or wife is a cybercheat there are some ways to search for clues in the computer he or she uses. A couple words of caution: if you don’t know what you’re doing, you could do more harm than good or you could get caught trying to catch your spouse.
Continue reading “Snooping To Catch A Cybercheat”
Dealing With A Vengeful Ex
His long-term marriage ended when his wife left for her cyber lover. He was left to take care of their three children. He has since remarried while his ex’s life has gone from bad to worse. Now she’s trying to extract revenge on him for moving on without her and he’s worried that she will use the children as pawns in her continuing vendetta against him and his new wife.
Continue reading “Dealing With A Vengeful Ex”
Unwanted Emails
Unwanted email can be extremely hazardous to a marriage on shaky ground. If you’re a wife trying to catch a cheating husband, don’t assume that every email he receives is from someone he actually knows or has been in contact with.
Continue reading “Unwanted Emails”
Is Your Spouse A Cybercheat?
Do you suspect your husband or wife of cybercheating or of having an Internet addiction? Let’s consider some of the warning signs that your spouse may be a cybercheat or may be on his or her way to being one.
Continue reading “Is Your Spouse A Cybercheat?”
Strip Clubs And Married Men
To assume that all women who work in strip clubs are there to seduce every man who comes in the door is foolish. Many are young girls who believe their only marketable skill is removing their clothes for money. Many are single mothers trying to support a family. They’re all someone’s daughter. And many of them truly dislike themselves, the job, the need to exploit themselves, and the hopelessness of the situation in which they find themselves.
Continue reading “Strip Clubs And Married Men”
Should Adultery Be Illegal?
She wrote to ask if there was any way to make adultery illegal. Adultery is a moral crime and in some U.S. states it is grounds for divorce. In some parts of the world, an adulterer can be put to death. But should it be a criminal offense?
Continue reading “Should Adultery Be Illegal?”
Verbal Abusers And Their Victims
Verbal abusers pick their victims well and most of the time they keep the abuse behind closed doors with no witnesses. Their public persona is so totally different than the one they save for the husband or wife or child who bears the force of their cutting words.
Continue reading “Verbal Abusers And Their Victims”
Hurtful Words
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” — African Proverb.
Most of us were probably taught that little chant when we were fairly young. Words can’t hurt. Ignore them. Let them slide off your back. Maybe one of your parents repeated them to you when you came home in tears because someone in school called you “fatso,” or “stupid,” or “fag.” Maybe the incident, which may have been one of many, was brushed off as “just kid’s play,” nothing to be concerned about. And so the next time you just hung your head and kept on going, maybe with that little chant playing in your mind.
Continue reading “Hurtful Words”
Scarlet Women, Femme Fatales, And “Other Women”
When I began researching this article, the thrust was going to be on those women who were either married and cheating, or the “other woman” in a marriage, thus the title of “Scarlet Women.”
Continue reading “Scarlet Women, Femme Fatales, And “Other Women””
It’s Called Adultery
From an email to me: “…we both have spouses and we don’t want to hurt them, but we can’t give each other up, we’re so perfect together…” If there is one persistent theme in many of the emails I receive, it is expressed in those words.
Continue reading “It’s Called Adultery”
Adultery In The Military
Adultery Ok’d by US Military (?) Okay, that isn’t the real headline, and perhaps that’s not a literal translation of changes that were proposed, but if you missed the Associated Press story, I’m quoting from it below and adding my personal comments.
Continue reading “Adultery In The Military”
Change Of Heart
Well, as much as I love Richard, my date with Leon showed me what I’ve been missing… so… I’ve had a change of heart!”
On the dating show “Change of Heart,” popular a few seasons ago, a couple shares with viewers the frustrations they feel about their relationship and then agree to each go on blind dates to see whether they’ll stay together or dump their current partner for their blind date.
Continue reading “Change Of Heart”
Snoopware Dangers
Do you think your husband or wife is cheating? Are you tempted to install a program on their computer to “catch” them? Or have you already installed one of the many spyware or snoopware programs that are available?
Continue reading “Snoopware Dangers”
Looking For Love (Or Sex) Online
As if marriage doesn’t have enough built-in hazards, the Internet has added an extremely dangerous threat: cyber cheating.
Continue reading “Looking For Love (Or Sex) Online”
Online Casanovas
Cheating is cheating whether it’s with the person next door, down the street, in the next town, in the next state, or across the world in a chatroom. It’s an act that hurts the person whose trust has been betrayed and ultimately it hurts the person who betrays that trust.
Continue reading “Online Casanovas”
Young, Married, Cheating
She was 17 and her husband 22 when they married three years years ago. Now she is the mother of two small children. Throughout the marriage she has cheated on her husband. They fight and argue and sometimes throw things at one another. She says she married too young and wants to be able to “just date.”
Continue reading “Young, Married, Cheating”
Would You Tell?
Here is an email I recently received: “My best friend is involved with a married woman. She has one child and a traveling husband. Is there any way that I can inform her husband without revealing myself?”
Continue reading “Would You Tell?”
Assume One Person Is A Predator
In the virtual world, assume that at least one person in a chat room or a forum is a predator and act accordingly.
Continue reading “Assume One Person Is A Predator”