What I’d Tell My Daughter About Sex

I’ve never had children so I haven’t had to give the “sex talk.” However, having been raised to consider sex as a woman’s obligation and something that only “bad girls” did unless they were married, I would have been well prepared to discuss the subject with my own daughter.

I would have told her that sex with someone you love is beautiful.

I would have told her that waiting until marriage should be her choice, not a decision to be made for her by others.

I would have told her that there are many ways that sex can be pleasurable and she should explore those sexual options with her marital partner.

I would have told her that a healthy sex life is important to a marriage.

I would have told her that the enjoyment of sex is not shameful.

I would have also told her that she shouldn’t allow someone to force her into a sexual relationship before she was ready.

I would tell her that she should not do anything that repulsed her or hurt her just to please her partner.

I would have told her to protect herself from disease and unwanted pregnancy and to choose her sex partners wisely.

I would have told her that men can have sex without being in love with their partner and she shouldn’t believe that having sex would lead to commitment.

I would have told her that if a man ever became jealous about her past to reconsider her involvement with him.

I would have told her that if a man demanded to know her sexual history it was none of his business and if he said “it was his right to know” to show him the door.

I would have told her that virginity is nice but it certainly isn’t the measure of her worth as a person.

I would have told her that sex shouldn’t hurt, nor should it make her feel degraded or “dirty.”

I would have told her that sex should be on her terms, when she’s ready, not because someone has spent money on her or wants her to “prove her love.”

I would have told her that no matter what mistakes she might make, mistakes are a part of living and if she learned from her mistakes then nothing was in vain.