Category: Should You Stay Or Go?

My boyfriend has been hanging around gay men and going with them to bath houses and he tells me “I lead them on to get what I want from them”. It hurts me so much to hear him say this to me. Would this not throw up a red flag to anyone else? Continue reading “What Does He Really Want?”

I’m 28 years old and my husband of 2 years (partner of 6 years) died unexpectedly three months ago. Now I find myself in a really confusing emotional state, as I’m starting to have strong feelings for someone new but at the same time am still grieving for my husband.

What complicates things more is that the person I’m falling for is someone I met four months before my husbands death. We hit it off immediately, and ended up spending a lot of time together as friends. He also had a girlfriend of a few years. Continue reading “Is It Too Soon For New Love?”

hello pat.

i have a prolem that i cant solt at all and i really need your help. my relationship is 7 months and i love my man so much. i found it confusing when i walk with him on the malls and he keeps watching females, today he saw this ather lady carrying a bag and he said “i wish i was not in dating so that i can help her”, i was so hurt, i didnt even know how to comment. Continue reading “You Can’t Lose What You Don’t Have”

It’s a difficult and traumatic situation to be in: you’re married to a spouse who is abusive or cheating or an addict. Life has lost its luster, every day is just another day in a black hole. This isn’t the way you expected marriage to be yet this is the way your marriage has ended up. You’re trapped.
Continue reading “Stay Or Go: It’s Your Decision”

One of the most stressful times in a dysfunctional marriage is when you know it’s falling apart but you don’t know what to do about it nor do you have any idea what is going to happen to you when the relationship unravels completely. Fear of the unknown gets a tight grip on your life.
Continue reading “Regaining Control Of Your Life”

You have to believe in yourself in order to get the most from any relationship in which you’re involved. Waiting for someone else to complete “you” is a lost cause. It’s also unfair to place such a burden on your partner.
Continue reading “The Stay Or Go Plan”

Some time ago, a husband wrote to complain about his wife. She was abusive, argumentative, demanding. He was considering divorce because he was unhappy with her treatment of him. There was another part to this story and it involved someone from his past, who had never really been out of his thoughts throughout his marriage, who had just recently reestablished contact with him.
Continue reading “Befriending The Inner Child”

On June 10, 1998, at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting, it was stated that “women should ‘submit graciously’ to their husbands’ leadership.” This is part of the faith’s new statement of beliefs. Part of the new 18th Article of the Baptist Faith and Message reads, “A wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband, even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”
Continue reading “Rethinking Our Concept Of Marriage”

A friend and her husband have been in the midst of a terminal dance. Theirs has been a flawed relationship for many years but it seemed they had come to terms with their individual needs and that kept the marriage intact.
Continue reading “Their Marriage Is Ending, Or Is It?”

Does this sound familiar: If you can’t trust your friends, who can you trust? Blood is thicker than water, believe in your family, they want what’s best for you.
Continue reading “Listening To Family And Friends”

When Martha met Harold, she was a small town girl who captivated the heart of a handsome traveling salesman. After a quick courtship, and marriage in front of the local justice of the peace, Martha joined Harold as they traveled to places she’d previously only read about.
Continue reading “Unhappily Married”

It is up to each one of us to make the decision whether we’ll try once more to keep our marriage together or to cut our losses and get out of a marriage that is hopeless.
Continue reading “The “Right” Thing To Do”

Susan is in the same place many of you are — trying to decide which is better, staying in a bad marriage, or going out into the great unknown. Her husband has cheated throughout their marriage and she’s at a point of total unhappiness. She’s afraid to leave because of the financial security she would lose and she’s not sure she could improve her life by leaving.
Continue reading “Afraid To Stay, Afraid To Go”

Making the decision to divorce someone you used to love (and may still love) probably won’t happen quickly. It may, but it’s unlikely. You may know something is wrong with your marriage but you can’t quite figure out what. Each day seems bleaker than the day before.
Continue reading “Decisions To Make”

Did divorce catch you off guard? Or has your marriage been “on the brink” for a number of years? Have you been “settling” for the “security” of marriage even though you felt your relationship could be better?
Continue reading “Just How Good Was/Is Your Marriage?”

When a man or woman walks away from a marriage, their actions may leave family and friends doubting their sanity as well as questioning their motives. What is often crystal clear to the person who leaves is lost to those who remain.
Continue reading “Why Marriages End”

Most people who do a Web search on “divorce” are at least considering ending their marriage. They may be at the start of decision-making process or they may be very close to their decision.
Continue reading “Changing Your Priorities”

This is written for wives. I’m a wife. I understand the concerns. I expect some of you gentlemen to email me with tips I can publish for husbands.
Continue reading “How Long Do You Wait?”

His wife kept telling him she was unhappy but it wasn’t until she finally filed for divorce that he took her seriously. By that time, it was too late. He says she didn’t tell him she was that unhappy. He says he would have done things differently if she had.
Continue reading “Why Didn’t You TELL Me!”

When your spouse wants a divorce it can be devastating. It’s very easy to wonder what you could have done or should have done to keep him or her from leaving. It’s all too easy to take their actions personally thinking that the reason they’re leaving is because of something you’ve done. And, in some cases, that’s exactly why they’re giving up on the marriage.
Continue reading “When You Should Take It Personally”

If there’s one undeniable truth we all eventually learn, it’s that we are ultimately responsible for the outcome of our own lives. We cannot control the forces of nature, “Acts of God,” or the acts of other people. How our lives are played out, what we get and give, is under our control.
Continue reading “Assuming Responsibility”

Divorce begins long before the legalities start. Divorce begins when your marriage turns sour, when you wonder if it’s worth the fight, when the gentle touch turns to abuse, when the occasional drink turns into uncontrolled alcoholism, or when you learn your spouse hasn’t been truthful in the relationship and knowing that truth you begin deciding whether you should stay or go.
Continue reading “When Divorce Starts”

They’ve been married for less than a year and apparently there’s not been much good about their marriage so far. They dated five years prior to their wedding and things weren’t so great then either but they went ahead with the marriage anyway. She’s now met someone who she likes and doesn’t know how to tell her husband she wants a divorce.
Continue reading “New Marriage: Stay Or Go?”

He wrote asking me to point him toward information about trust in a marriage. He said his wife didn’t trust him, not because he had betrayed the marriage but because she didn’t trust him to do anything — from managing their finances to planning vacations — as well as she could.
Continue reading “The Importance Of Trust”

Can you remember when you first stopped trusting someone you loved? Or perhaps stopped trusting an acquaintance? You weren’t born mistrusting other people. You learned to hold back your complete trust the first time, or the second time, or the third time you got hurt for trusting someone who was less than honest with you.
Continue reading “If You Don’t Have Trust, What Have You Got?”

Stay or go? It’s one of the top questions when someone starts looking for information about divorce. Should they try to save save their marriage or should they call it quits? The answer is unique to each of us.
Continue reading “Giving Up Or Being Realistic?”

During their 12-year marriage, his wife had cancer surgery, they faced bankruptcy, his mother died, their home was vandalized, and his wife left him and their young son to be with her boyfriend. After leaving, she told everyone he was abusive which he says was a lie. Therapy didn’t work and their attempts at reconciliation leave him scared and confused. He doesn’t know what to do.
Continue reading “Too Many Bad Times”

After 25 years, his wife wants out of their marriage. He admits that their marriage has problems and says he hasn’t been the best husband. They’ve been barely speaking and sleeping in separate bedrooms. He wants her to go to counseling with him but says she isn’t willing to attempt to fix what’s broken. He’s facing a job transfer as well as divorce.
Continue reading “His Wife Wants A Divorce”

They’ve been married four months; they had a five month courtship. Friends warned him that she had an unsavory past but he brushed off their concerns. Now he finds that she has lied about her past as well as the present. He says he married for life but doesn’t know how he can live with a habitual liar.
Continue reading “New Marriage In Trouble”

They have dealt with many serious issues throughout their 15-year marriage. Those issues have brought them to a crossroads. It’s time to commit and repair their marriage or let go and move on. She isn’t sure if she can get back the feelings she used to have for him.
Continue reading “Are Their Needs Changing?”

Their marriage seems perfect except for one thing: he wants children and she doesn’t. He’s willing to wait for her to change her mind but isn’t sure that she will and wonders if this is an irreconcilable difference that will lead to divorce.
Continue reading “He Wants Children, She Doesn’t”

She wrote: “I want to tell my husband I want a divorce and I am having a hard time coming up with the right words to say it.”
Continue reading “The Right Words to Say Goodbye”

Only you can decide if your marriage is too bad to stay in it. Regardless of advice others give you, they won’t have to live your life. Weigh the advantages of staying against the advantages of leaving. If leaving significantly outweighs staying, your choice should be fairly simple.
Continue reading “Decision Time: Stay Or Go?”