Not every parent is a good parent or a good role model for their kids. Decisions regarding custody arrangements should be based on what is best for the kids.
Some couples are willing to make their children’s needs their primary concern when the marriage ends. They will work together to assure that their problems don’t impact their children’s welfare.
Some couples cannot get past their personal anger and ignore what’s best for their children as they wage war in bitter court battles. When children’s needs are secondary to the need for revenge, everyone loses, especially the children.
Being the biological parent of a child does not make a person a good parent. In some instances, fathers are more willing and better qualified to raise their children. In other cases, mothers are better qualified to be the primary parent.
Sole Custody
Sole custody typically means that one parent assumes all parenting and one parent has limited or no visitation. The children are raised in a single-parent environment or, if the custodial parent remarries, with one biological parent and one stepparent.
Sole custody is appropriate if one parent is unwilling or unable to get involved in ongoing parenting after divorce. Post-divorce parenting is not for the man or woman seeking freedom without responsibility.
Sole custody may be in the best interest of the children if abusive or addictive behavior, domestic violence or other issues were a cause for the divorce or an issue in the home. Because dependent children cannot remove themselves from abusive situations, a parent or guardian must protect a child from harm.
Joint Custody
Joint custody typically means the children split their time between their father’s home and their mother’s home. Both parents take an active role in raising the children and they work together to prevent conflict.
Joint custody is a workable option if both parents are good role models and have the maturity to provide good parenting.
Even if a couple agrees on custody and support, making the terms legally binding should be done with the assistance of an attorney trained in child support issues.
If a couple is embroiled in a bitter divorce, a judge will have the final word in determining if joint custody or sole custody is best for the kids.