I have been divorced twice and each divorce was primarily a “do-it-yourself” even though I did have an attorney for the first one. I was fortunate that my attorney was a former co-worker who agreed to do the paperwork and filings for my divorce. He was not a divorce lawyer but my needs were more for someone who could assist me through the legalities than represent me in a court battle.
My first marriage lasted over 15 years until, after years of indecision, I worked up the courage to walk away from a dysfunctional marriage. My husband made a weak attempt to convince me it would be a mistake to leave, but, the more we talked, the more obvious it was there was nothing that could be salvaged in our relationship.
We had no children but we did have marital property. Because I wanted a clean break, I agreed to sign all property over to my husband, eliminating any need for litigation. I met with my lawyer who drew up the necessary papers, my husband and I met at the lawyer’s office where I signed quit claim deeds, and my lawyer then filed the necessary paperwork.
Within two months from the time I said “I want a divorce,” I was legally divorced. My total legal fees were under $500 and included court costs, filing fees, and minimal attorney charges.
Why this divorce worked for me: 1) There were no children involved; 2) We didn’t have any property disputes; 3) Neither of us was fighting the divorce; 4) Neither of us was demanding alimony or spousal support.
My second marriage was over even quicker than the first. The marriage itself lasted eight years but it began slowly unraveling over the last two years.
This time, I didn’t want a divorce, but when my husband actually said “I’m leaving,” I knew there was no chance for reconciliation. The next day, we sat down and calmly divided assets and debts. We then went to our local courthouse to get the necessary forms which we completed and filed.
Thirty days later we had our day in court. We responded to a few questions from the circuit court judge and in less than five minutes our marriage was legally over. Our total legal fees were under $200 for filing fees and court costs.
Why this divorce worked for me: 1) Once again, there were no (minor) children involved; 2) We agreed on the division of property; 3) Neither of us was fighting the divorce; 4) Neither of us was demanding alimony or spousal support.
Just because my husbands and I were able to avoid costly litigation, it doesn’t mean there weren’t hard feelings and anger. I think any divorce is going to have some anger but it doesn’t have to become the deal-breaker that makes lawyers necessary.
Is a do-it-yourself divorce an option for you?
1) Not if there are minor children involved because support and custody issues need to be taken care of legally.
2) Not if one of you is fighting the divorce.
3) Not if there are property disputes.
4) Not if one of you is seeking alimony or spousal support.
5) Not if there are complicated trusts, retirement plans, or other assets that are not easily divided.
Sometimes, attorneys just can’t be bypassed. Getting all parts of the divorce right the first time is extremely important because reversing decisions later on is almost impossible and never inexpensive.