Pat, what phase would u say my mlcer is in as he becoming helpful friendly connecting with family and friends again after 4yrs? Continue reading “Phases of MLC”
Author: Pat Gaudette
What Does He Really Want?
My boyfriend has been hanging around gay men and going with them to bath houses and he tells me “I lead them on to get what I want from them”. It hurts me so much to hear him say this to me. Would this not throw up a red flag to anyone else? Continue reading “What Does He Really Want?”
Sexless Marriage
I’m in a situation where I believe my husband is gay but will probably never admit it. a couple of years ago, i found out that he had been sending out pics of himself on Craigslist men 4 men. I found out through looking through old cameras etc, that he had been doing this for years. Continue reading “Sexless Marriage”
Ten Years With A Married Man
ok i have been with this guy for ten years and he is married. its been ok but since we stayed together a couple of years ago it has been down hill. since then i have been jump on by him so many times. i put him out to go back to his wife cause we just couldn’t stay together he has cheated more then once. i did my thing to just to get back at him but i stop. Continue reading “Ten Years With A Married Man”
Is It Too Soon For New Love?
I’m 28 years old and my husband of 2 years (partner of 6 years) died unexpectedly three months ago. Now I find myself in a really confusing emotional state, as I’m starting to have strong feelings for someone new but at the same time am still grieving for my husband.
What complicates things more is that the person I’m falling for is someone I met four months before my husbands death. We hit it off immediately, and ended up spending a lot of time together as friends. He also had a girlfriend of a few years. Continue reading “Is It Too Soon For New Love?”
Don’t See A Problem
Hey Pat, so this is basically the situation. I was dating this girl, and I cheated, yes I cheated. So we broke up and she got a new boyfriend and now she’s cheating on HIM with ME, I want her back, I love her and she loves me. She DOESNT love him. I just want her back honestly, I know i messed up. – Hector Continue reading “Don’t See A Problem”
You Can’t Lose What You Don’t Have
hello pat.
i have a prolem that i cant solt at all and i really need your help. my relationship is 7 months and i love my man so much. i found it confusing when i walk with him on the malls and he keeps watching females, today he saw this ather lady carrying a bag and he said “i wish i was not in dating so that i can help her”, i was so hurt, i didnt even know how to comment. Continue reading “You Can’t Lose What You Don’t Have”
From Straight To Gay?
I am 40 years old and married 12 years back and got 3 lovely kids. Unfortunately i discovered than i have sexual attraction to men, feeling of being bottom. I am living in a country where Homosexuality is stated as crime in the Law and society highly discourages it.
I visited gay chat rooms and have found a foriegner who is also married and had met personally and exchange ideas. I never had any sexual practice with anyone. I am feeling deep sexual attraction to men. How can i go with it? Am in big big dilemaa and appreciate your advise. tnx a lot in advance Continue reading “From Straight To Gay?”
The Risks of Love
Hi, I met a single Asian mom 2 months ago. She has a large friend base and is protective of her son who I have not met. and her friends-family. Fireworks right from the start.
I can only see her when her schedule allows couple times a month. She travels to see friends on weekends and works hard all week partys a couple times during the week. She is 44 I am 46. Continue reading “The Risks of Love”
A Need To Manage Anger
i had a big row with my boyfriend he want to end the relationship i was very upset and said fine but i told him he will never see his son again once i go with that he put his hands round my throat and pulled me on the and started shouting in my face this is the first time he’s done that i love him but i don’t want to stay with him if he’s going to do that again what should i do. Continue reading “A Need To Manage Anger”
Is It Wrong?
If my husband has cheated would it be wrong for me to see someone, if I have left him and seeking a divorce.
Until you’re legally divorced, you’re legally married. So, is it wrong for a married woman to “see someone”? I wouldn’t but many women do. It has to be your decision because you’ll be living with the consequences if the new relationship doesn’t work out or if you and your husband decide to reconcile. ~ Pat
Was Their Marriage A Lie?
Dear Pat: I am married to a women 28yrs I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We even had children in there 20s now. I came out about a year ago, we still live together. I am the only one working at the moment and I won’t abandon her, have have a history together. I do love her but it is not the same. I tried my hardest to be str8 and be the great dad and husband it finaly came to a head and I can’t live this lie anymore. Continue reading “Was Their Marriage A Lie?”
Should She Take A Lover?
My husband has mental illness. I am the main breadwinner. I will be leaving after my last child (out of three) has graduated from high school (he is only in 8th grade). I would leave now but I don’t want to disrupt my son’s life. Continue reading “Should She Take A Lover?”
Should Friends Become Lovers?
I have been seeing a guy that ive known for years as a friend, we had both had pretty bad experiences prior to our getting together, we have found that we enjoy spending time together and there is and always has been an attraction between us that we had never acted on untill now. Continue reading “Should Friends Become Lovers?”
Why Care What Others Think?
Losing weight, firming up, plastic surgery for a younger look… It’s easy to grasp at straws when a spouse starts looking for the exit. In a successful relationship, you’ll be loved for the person you are, not the dress size you are able to wear. Continue reading “Why Care What Others Think?”
Keyloggers And Cyber Cheats
Keyloggers record computer keystrokes either through software or hardware. Hardware keyloggers are installed on a computer as an attachment between the computer and the keyboard or they are built into the keyboard itself. When a keylogger is built into a keyboard it is virtually undetectable. Some available hardware keyloggers are KeyGhost, KeySpyer and KeyKatcher, which all work basically the same way.
Continue reading “Keyloggers And Cyber Cheats”
Catching A CyberCheat
He’s a husband who got busted by his wife for going to online porn sites. Now he writes to offer more tips on how to catch a cybercheater. Continue reading “Catching A CyberCheat”
How To Hide A Broken Heart
I hadn’t dated much when I got married the first time and coming out of a long-term marriage, I really wasn’t too savvy when I dove into the dating pool. Luckily, on my first dive I met Mr. Right. Continue reading “How To Hide A Broken Heart”
Bobby Brown And Whitney Houston
I’ve watched the reality TV show, Being Bobby Brown, as camera crews have followed Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston throughout their “normal” days and nights. I definitely don’t see either of them as good role models. It was no surprise when their marriage collapsed and Houston filed for divorce in September 2006 to end their 14-year marriage. Quite frankly, I’m surprised they didn’t maim or destroy each other years earlier.
Continue reading “Bobby Brown And Whitney Houston”
Dividing The Pets
According to a recent news article, Wisconsin legislators introduced a bill setting guidelines for the way divorce courts would deal with divorcing couples facing pet custody battles. Whether it helps or creates even more heartbreak is hard to judge.
Continue reading “Dividing The Pets”
Transitioning Through Divorce
He’s a 40-year-old father of two pre-teens who is getting ready to end a 15-year marriage. He’s looking for books and guidance to help him through the process of leaving his marriage and setting up a new home for himself and his kids when they come to visit. He hasn’t told his wife he wants a divorce yet and already is considering going into debt to comfortably outfit his new home.
Clues He May Be Cheating
Cheaters leave clues. Some are easier to find than others. This article is directed to women who believe their husbands may be cheating. Some tips and clues will be applicable to catching a cheat of either gender. Others clues are specific to catching a man who cheats. As with any and all information provided on this site, use what you can and disregard the rest. Continue reading “Clues He May Be Cheating”
Betrayed! Can You Forgive Your Spouse?
She confided that her husband had an affair several years ago. She suspected he was cheating at the time the affair was going on but it wasn’t until a year ago, after the affair had ended, that her husband acknowledged it. For the past year they have been trying to repair the damage to their marriage but she is having a difficult time. Continue reading “Betrayed! Can You Forgive Your Spouse?”
Snoopware Dangers
Do you think your husband or wife is cheating? Are you tempted to install a program on their computer to “catch” them? Or have you already installed one of the many spyware or snoopware programs that are available? Continue reading “Snoopware Dangers”
Exit Affairs
A marriage that ends due to an affair, whether it is an affair that was accidentally discovered or an exit affair meant to bring the marriage to an end, causes extensive damage to the betrayed spouse, the family and even friends and associates. Continue reading “Exit Affairs”
Cheat On Her Husband With Her Ex?
Occasionally I get an email that leaves me shaking my head in amazement at what people will do to mess up their marriage. One woman’s email was even more outrageous than most because she knows exactly the consequences her intended actions will have. Continue reading “Cheat On Her Husband With Her Ex?”
How To Catch A Cheat
Think your husband or wife is cheating? Here are a few tips that might help catch a cheater. Continue reading “How To Catch A Cheat”
Why Do Men Lie?
She wrote to say she had fallen in love with a man she met online. He told her he had been separated for years from his wife. Their relationship progressed to a physically intimate one. She met some of his friends and family and he met hers. He bonded with her young daughter. She was in love and pushed for commitment. He said he would rather work things out with his wife. “Why do men lie?” she asked in her email. Continue reading “Why Do Men Lie?”
Better Mistress Than Wife?
She wrote to explain that she and her ex-husband are now having an affair. They divorced several years ago; she is single, he remarried. He and his current wife have two children. Continue reading “Better Mistress Than Wife?”
Is Sex In An Open Marriage Adultery?
She’s involved with a married man and responding to an article I wrote about adultery. She says the situation is a win-win for her because she’s picky about who she has sex with, him because he gets good sex outside of his marriage, and his wife because she doesn’t have to be bothered. She wonders if a relationship in which the wife agrees to her husband having a girlfriend would still be considered adultery. Continue reading “Is Sex In An Open Marriage Adultery?”
The Other Person And Family Events
Throughout the world marriages are dissolving because the husband or wife has decided that they’d rather with with their lover than their marriage partner. These divorces and the continuing liaisons with the person responsible for the marriage’s collapse can cause some very serious problems for family members, business associates, and others who are less than happy about the situation. Continue reading “The Other Person And Family Events”
Is The “Other Woman” Committing Adultery?
She asked a simple question: “If a man is married and having sex with another woman that is not his wife, and that woman is not married, is she committing adultery? I know that the man is, because he is married, but what about the woman?” Continue reading “Is The “Other Woman” Committing Adultery?”
“So Perfect Together”
From an email to me: “…we both have spouses and we don’t want to hurt them, but we can’t give each other up, we’re so perfect together…” If there is one persistent theme in many of the emails I receive, it is expressed in those words. Continue reading ““So Perfect Together””
More Clues He May Be Cheating
Would you suspect your husband of cheating if everything was as it should be in your marriage? Probably not. But, because something just doesn’t “feel” right you need to confirm or deny your suspicions. Continue reading “More Clues He May Be Cheating”
Your Right To Cheat?
Is it your right to cheat if you are not getting your needs taken care of by your husband or wife? According to various articles and books I’ve read lately, the message I’m seeing is if cheating gets the job done, go for it. Continue reading “Your Right To Cheat?”
Warning Signs He Might Be Married
If you’re a woman and you live long enough, a man will come into your life who is so incredibly perfect in every way that you wonder if he could possibly be real. If you’re fortunate, that man will feel the same way about you and you’ll be on your way to relationship bliss. If you’re unfortunate, that man will take you to a new level of relationship hell. It happens when you find yourself in love with an adulterer (a/k/a a married man). Continue reading “Warning Signs He Might Be Married”
Cheating Wives
The spam email got right to the point: 4 Wives looking to Cheat, have been matched for you in your area: Sarah, 120 lbs, 5’6, 36c, 10 miles away; Morgan, 121 lbs, 5’9, 36d, 19 miles away; Kelsey, 124 lbs, 5’7, 34b, 14 miles away, available most nights (husband works midnights); Samantha, 125 lbs, 5’5, 36c, 25 miles away. All 4 women are waiting to speak with you live & have photos. Webcam’s are available for all 4. Continue reading “Cheating Wives”
What To Take To A Divorce Attorney
When your spouse says he or she wants a divorce, contacting an attorney should be high on your “to do” list. If trying to “fix” your marriage isn’t an option, a visit to a divorce attorney is a first step toward protecting your interests. No matter how much you believe your spouse will do the “right thing,” at divorce the “right thing” may be to look out for themselves at any cost.
Continue reading “What To Take To A Divorce Attorney”
Asexuality And Marriage
Why would a man refuse to have sex with his wife? A woman wrote asking why I think her husband avoids having sex with her. Despite her attempts to be attractive, seductive, and encouraging a sexual relationship, her husband says they don’t “need to have sex in order to express love” for each other.
Continue reading “Asexuality And Marriage”
End A Sexless Marriage?
A year ago, she filed for divorce to end their 15-year marriage but reconsidered when he promised that things would get better. They are now back to where they were and she again is thinking of divorce. She says the intimacy and romance ended when their children were born and he says there are more important things to worry about than the kindness and intimacy she says she needs.
Continue reading “End A Sexless Marriage?”
The Sex Book
I suppose the title of this article is a bit misleading since I’m not going to suggest any one book about sexual technique is better than another. What I am suggesting is that if sexual needs and books on the subject were equated, “most” men and women would not be “reading” the same book.
Continue reading “The Sex Book”
The Madonna/Whore Complex
For some men, love and sex don’t mix. They save love and marriage for “good” women, and only enjoy sex with “bad” women.
Continue reading “The Madonna/Whore Complex”
He May Be Heading For A Midlife Crisis If…
The phrase “midlife crisis” is an increasingly used catch-all phrase used to explain away a person’s bad behavior regardless of their age. The following are a few clues that the man in your life may be heading for, or in the midst of, a midlife crisis.
Continue reading “He May Be Heading For A Midlife Crisis If…”
Revising Their Lives At Midlife
Middle age is a seriously dangerous time for marriages. Men and women are shocked to hear their spouse say “I love you but I’m not in love with you” as they head out the door. Some spouses leave home alone. Others have someone waiting for them.
Continue reading “Revising Their Lives At Midlife”
Midlife Decisions
Middle age is a dangerous time for many marriages. It certainly was for mine. I faced my own mortality in my middle thirties. When it finally became very clear to me that my time on earth was limited, I anguished over staying in a bad marriage or taking a chance on a new life on my own. Just shy of my 39th birthday, I ended my first marriage.
Continue reading “Midlife Decisions”
His Midlife Crisis!
In 1995, I wrote the following article for a singles magazine I published at the time. Since that time, it has been reprinted with permission in magazines around the world, loosely rewritten by others, and has been posted to various Web sites with, as well as without, my permission. When I wrote this article I had no idea the impact it would have.
Continue reading “His Midlife Crisis!”
Too Soon For A Live-in Girlfriend
He’s newly divorced after an 11-year marriage and has been dating a woman 17 years younger than he is. They have not been intimate so far but she is living in his house in the guest room. He’s concerned about the difference in their ages.
Continue reading “Too Soon For A Live-in Girlfriend”
Is He Having A Midlife Crisis?
After 23 years of marriage, he moved out of their home and is living with a male friend. Since then he says her he has fallen out of love with her and doesn’t want to “compromise his life” any more. He also has admitted to a very brief affair, a few years ago, which he didn’t enjoy. He blames her for his unhappiness and wants a divorce. She is in therapy.
Continue reading “Is He Having A Midlife Crisis?”
His Midlife Affair
After 18 years of marriage, her 41-year-old husband wants a divorce so he can find the passion he’s missing in his marriage. She says his recent affair with a younger woman has left her devastated and him feeling that he’s missing out on experiencing life in a passionate relationship. She wants him to reconsider for their child’s sake because they know they cannot be friends if they divorce.
Continue reading “His Midlife Affair”
His Wife Left With No Warning
He says his wife left home six weeks ago leaving both him and their kids to fend for themselves. Her explanation is that she doesn’t have any complaints, she just doesn’t want to answer to anyone for her time any more. She says she won’t come back unless she finds she made a mistake, and he wonders what the odds are of this happening.
Continue reading “His Wife Left With No Warning”