ok i have been with this guy for ten years and he is married. its been ok but since we stayed together a couple of years ago it has been down hill. since then i have been jump on by him so many times. i put him out to go back to his wife cause we just couldn’t stay together he has cheated more then once. i did my thing to just to get back at him but i stop. Continue reading “Ten Years With A Married Man”
Category: Abuse And Addictions
Marriage To An Alcoholic
They’ve been married for four years and have a young son. She says her husband’s alcohol abuse is ruining their marriage. She wanted my advice.
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Their Codependent Relationship
She says her husband is cruel and vicious, accuses her of things he knows she hasn’t done, and never takes the blame for any of their marital problems. Over their 22-year relationship, he has cheated multiple times, divorcing her twice to marry the other woman only to cheat during those marriages with her. Their current marriage is ending and she can’t figure out why he treats her so badly when she’s always there when he needs her.
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Marital Sex Abuse
Forcing a spouse to engage in sexual activities against their will is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is not about love nor is it about enjoying the sex act. Sexual abuse is about one person controlling another in one of the most emotionally damaging acts possible.
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When It’s Time To End A Marriage
His wife has been physically and verbally abusive for the 15 years they have been married. Despite counseling her behaviors have not changed and he feels marriage is over. She has made threats if he goes through with a divorce and has told him he wants out because he’s having a midlife crisis. He’s worried about the children and wonders what he should do.
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Marital Rape, Wife Rape
Is sex on demand the price a wife pays for being married? Does a husband have the right to force his wife to have sex when he’s in the mood even if she’s not? At what point does the sex act turn into rape?
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Abusers Beget Abusers
Children learn from their environment. Living with a father who is abusive to their mother teaches them that abuse is acceptable. They believe it’s a normal way that husbands and wives relate to each other. They may grow up to abuse their spouse or they may grow up and marry an abuser. Either way, they continue the cycle of abuse and then pass it along to their children.
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Abusive Personalities
I’m amazed at the number of reality television programs that continue to make it to air time based on nothing more than the premise that we all want to see what goes on in the lives of people not quite as ordinary as ourselves.
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A Relationship In Trouble?
I accompanied my husband on one of his trips to the neighboring county courthouse and waited as he took care of recording some documents he needed for his business.
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No Excuses For Abuse
At a business meeting, I refused to let one of the men in attendance take control of the meeting I was chairing. We had an exchange of words, and, when he didn’t get his way, he walked out of the meeting. I was glad I hadn’t been intimidated or allowed him to take control as he has been known to do in similar meetings.
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Recognizing Abuse
It’s easier to recognize abuse when it involves physical violence. Hitting, punching, beating leave marks that are obvious. If the person being abused is seeking help, the marks are obvious evidence to the abuse.
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Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is more than a husband hitting his wife or a wife battering her husband. It can turn quite deadly as it did when a wife ran over her husband for looking at another woman, or a man fatally shot his young daughter before killing himself.
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Abuse
Abuse takes a thousand forms. It touches our lives every day, whether it’s occurring in our house, the house next door, or the house across the city. Pick up today’s newspaper. There will be a story of abuse somewhere within the pages.
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Disagreement Or Verbal Abuse?
“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest — never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.” — Ann Landers.
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The Negatives Of Pot Smoking
Even though there may be potential good effects marijuana might provide when used for the right reasons, I’m going to focus on the negative aspects of pot smoking. That won’t endear me to pot smokers of the world but that’s fine.
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She’s Married To A Pothead
She is 25, has a 3-year old daughter, and has been married for four years to a man who promised he would quit smoking pot when they got married. His habit has turned from weekend toking to everyday use. She can’t make him give up the pot so she is going to file for divorce and wonders how to tell him that she’s leaving.
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Will The Bottle Win Again?
He wrote: “I am currently being divorced by my wife. The only problem in our marriage was my binge drinking. We were best friends and I guess my wife feels she has no alternative but to divorce me. I have been trying to stay sober, but could not go more than about two months without a relapse. Then, I would hang my head with regret and embarrassment and go back to AA.”
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Living With An Alcoholic
No one purposely seeks out problem drinkers or alcoholics for life mates. In many cases, the drinking becomes a problem long after we have settled into a marriage. Long after we have placed ourselves in the hands of this man or this woman that we treasure above all others.
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She’s Married To An Alcoholic
She wrote: “Please help me, My husband has been drinking for years, he drink while my children were at home. I stay with him for the children sake. We have grown girls now all married. I always wanted to leave, but he said I could never take his girls. He always told me I had nowhere to go, he would never let me work, so here I am stuck. I have no skills.”
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Verbal Abusers And Their Victims
Verbal abusers pick their victims well and most of the time they keep the abuse behind closed doors with no witnesses. Their public persona is so totally different than the one they save for the husband or wife or child who bears the force of their cutting words.
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Hurtful Words
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” — African Proverb.
Most of us were probably taught that little chant when we were fairly young. Words can’t hurt. Ignore them. Let them slide off your back. Maybe one of your parents repeated them to you when you came home in tears because someone in school called you “fatso,” or “stupid,” or “fag.” Maybe the incident, which may have been one of many, was brushed off as “just kid’s play,” nothing to be concerned about. And so the next time you just hung your head and kept on going, maybe with that little chant playing in your mind.
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Is She A Bad Mother For Leaving?
She is planning to leave an abusive marriage as soon as she gets a full-time job. Because her twin sons are also verbally abusive toward her, she plans on leaving home alone so she can rebuild her self-esteem. She wonders if this will make her an unfit mother.
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When Grown Kids Are Tyrants
She has been dating a divorced dad for over three years and their relationship has progressed to talk of marriage. The problem is his 24-year-old daughter who doesn’t want another woman in her father’s life and is giving ultimatums.
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When It’s Time To End A Marriage
He wrote to say that he has been in a physically and verbally abusive marriage for the past 15 years. He has not been happy for a long time, is no longer in love with his wife, and feels the marriage is over. Despite counseling for the both of them, there have been no positive changes in their relationship.
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