She’s newly divorced, he’s in a bad marriage but concerned what divorce would do to his 3-year old son. They have been dating platonically for a couple months, are in love, and feel that they are soul mates. She wonders if she should wait for him to get a divorce.
I said:
You met this man just three months out of your own marriage. There are a lot of things that you still need to get “normalized” in your own life as a result of your divorce and even though you don’t believe it right now, you’re not ready for any type of long term serious involvement. I know of what I speak.
At least for the next year or so you’re going to go through a major shift in feelings about a lot of things. You and he share a common thread, you’re just out of a marriage gone bad and he’s still in a bad marriage. That’s enough to hold the two of you together — for a while. It’s not the basis for a lasting relationship for the two of you, not right now.
My suggestion is to let him get on with whatever he must do to either make his marriage successful or get out of it and you get on with becoming a completely independent woman. You need to discover all the wonderful things that you, as a single, can do with your life.
And, please, understand that even if he does get a divorce, he might decide that you and he just aren’t the right combination once he’s on his own. But, once you’ve done the “me work” on yourself, you may have already come to the same conclusion.