Her divorce is just starting and her husband is living with the “other woman.” She’s looking for love in all the wrong places, and far too soon. She said: “I am having all these lustful thoughts about some of the men I work with. There about 8 men at work that I feel like if I could get one in the conference room for just a few minutes this fire would go out.”
I replied:
It is not unusual to want to prove that you are a desirable woman by flirting with other men. If another man or men find you attractive then it proves your desirability after your husband’s betrayal. He may not have wanted you but other men do.
You aren’t divorced. If you want to end up with a very bad reputation very fast, just act on all those impulses you’re feeling. Keep dressing provocatively. Keep showing cleavage. Keep thinking about sex with the men you work with, even the married ones.
Don’t let lust interfere with your work; you need to focus on doing the best job you can to provide for yourself and your children, not on which of your co-workers can best “scratch your itch.”
For now, a cold shower is a good idea but a better one is to invest in a few sex toys for yourself. Self-love is not a negative, it can be a reputation-saver and you’ll learn a lot about what really turns you on. When you’re legally divorced, have worked through the normal divorce “fall-out,” and are ready to consider healthy intimate relationships you can use what you’ve learned to enhance the sexual aspects of new relationships.
It’s also not uncommon for betrayed wives to end up as the “other woman.” Even though they feel great anger at their own ex for betraying them, they feel little or no regret at falling in love with a married man. True, some married men are “separated and working on a divorce” but until the legalities are out of the way, they’re still married. Too many times they’re only “separated” in their minds and looking for a little “side action” which is why it’s safer to stay away from anyone who is not legally divorced.
You’re going through some tough times right now. Priortize. Focus on your children and your work. And “scratch your own itches” until you’re emotionally and legally ready to become intimate with a new partner.
This is just my opinion, of course. You’ll do what you have to do.