Was Their Marriage A Lie?

Dear Pat: I am married to a women 28yrs I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We even had children in there 20s now. I came out about a year ago, we still live together. I am the only one working at the moment and I won’t abandon her, have have a history together. I do love her but it is not the same. I tried my hardest to be str8 and be the great dad and husband it finaly came to a head and I can’t live this lie anymore. Continue reading “Was Their Marriage A Lie?”

Transitioning Through Divorce

He’s a 40-year-old father of two pre-teens who is getting ready to end a 15-year marriage. He’s looking for books and guidance to help him through the process of leaving his marriage and setting up a new home for himself and his kids when they come to visit. He hasn’t told his wife he wants a divorce yet and already is considering going into debt to comfortably outfit his new home.

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Continuing Parental Roles After Divorce

An advice columnist advised a woman to attend her son’s wedding and show class in dealing with her son’s demands regarding her role in the wedding reception. In other words, dance with her ex, pose for family pictures, smile whether she felt like it or not, and let the son have his special day. I thought it was pretty simple advice, except that:
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Moving On After 19 Years

She wanted to know how she could move on after her 19-year marriage ended when her husband left to be with someone from his past. The marriage hadn’t been a good one for quite a few years but it took her a long time to decide that she’d rather be out of it than deal with all of its dysfunction. What she was having trouble with was moving past the memories.
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Better To Have Loved And Lost?

Has someone ever said to you “Oh, but it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” expecting that to put a positive spin on your divorce? In other words, maybe you’ve lost love but that’s not as bad as never having been loved. No doubt they mean well, but it’s a fairly clueless comment to make to someone whose marriage is ending.
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It’s Okay To Feel Blue

Logically, I know that the holidays are no different than the rest of the year and if you’re having a bad year it probably won’t get any better just because everything you see and hear suggests this time of year is just naturally full of warm and fuzzy feelings. Emotionally, though, I really want to believe that something magical will take place at this time of year to make those warm and fuzzy feelings a reality.
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More Holiday Blues

At the holidays more than any other time of the year we are supposed to feel particularly warm and fuzzy toward our family and friends. It’s a nice goal but the holidays are dreadful for people involved in unhappy relationships. I just put a lot of different reasons for dreading the holidays into the phrase “unhappy relationships.” Being alone because of divorce isn’t the only reason you might dread the holidays.
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Validating Your Worth

Divorce can make us feel as though we are missing a major part of ourselves… the part that validates our worth… the part that gives us a reason for being. If this person — the center of our entire universe — feels we aren’t worth “keeping,” if this person to whom we have devoted our life is dumping us by the roadside like a bag of garbage, why would anyone else believe we would have value? Most of all, how can we possibly believe ourselves to have value? How can we feel good about ourself?
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At This Moment, You Are HERE

Most major shopping malls have locator maps at various spots, a red “X” with an arrow pointing to it and the words “You Are Here” so that you can see how close or how far you are to the place you really want to be. Similar maps can be found at highway rest stops to show travelers where they’ve been and the distance and roads to their destinations.
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Staying Together For The Holidays

It took me several years before I got up enough courage to end my first marriage. There was a lot of agonizing, the continual thoughts that I was doing something wrong, the search for answers everywhere. I hoped my husband would end it, taking the decision and choice away from me, but he wouldn’t and didn’t. If I wanted my life to change, it would be up to me, and me alone to make it happen.
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