She has been dating a divorced dad for over three years and their relationship has progressed to talk of marriage. The problem is his 24-year-old daughter who doesn’t want another woman in her father’s life and is giving ultimatums.
I said:
He’s caught between love for his daughter and love for you. It’s a bad place to be and you’re stuck with trying to figure out how to deal with her abuse and hang in while he gets the answers he needs in order to not feel guilty about going against her wishes.
I have a feeling she’s going to be a long term problem. You’ll have to learn to deal with her anger if you become a permanent part of this dysfunctional family. I’d have to guess that more families than we could suspect are dysfunctional so you’re not alone in dealing with something unpleasant in a love relationship.
As long as you and he love each other, you can overcome the odds. It won’t always be fun, and sometimes you might want to call it quits but that’s not the true fighting spirit that keeps couples together despite adversity. This guy sounds like he needs a loving woman in his life after what he’s been through. (Could the daughter be a mirror of the mother?)
Don’t take her rejection personally. She would probably be this mean-spirited no matter who the woman in her father’s life was. If you can change your attitude about her, and the importance of her actions about you, it will make your life easier. Sure she’s a hard case, but since you know that you don’t have to play her game and react as she wishes you to react.
Let him know that you love him. Having said that, it’s up to you to decide how important a life with him is to your happiness. All love has trade-offs. Relationships with divorced parents have even more trade-offs.