You’re Divorced. Now What?

The effects of being married and subsequently divorced last a lifetime. What can you expect as a result of being divorced?

You can expect people you hardly know to ask you for details or an explanation of why your marriage failed. Why? Perhaps because they’re nosy. Or, perhaps because they’re trying to decide if they should end their marriage and they need to see how you respond about yours.

You can expect to lose some of the most important people in your life. The ones that ‘belong’ to your ex or who have chosen to side with him or her.

You can expect to feel helpless.

You can expect to feel scared.

You can expect to feel alone.

You can expect to be excluded from ‘couples only’ events.

You can expect to feel sad at the strangest times.

You can expect good days, great days and absolutely horrible days.

You can expect others to give their advice, whether you want it or not.

You can expect to fall in love with the wrong people for all of the wrong reasons.

You can expect to feel that you didn’t try hard enough to make your marriage work.

You can expect to feel love for your ex at the most unusual times.

You can expect to feel hate for your ex when you least expect to.

You can expect to feel jealousy when you see your ex with his or her new love.

You can expect to feel unloved and unloveable.

You can expect to be angry, but if anger consumes you it’s time to get help.

You can expect to feel that you’re the only one who has ever experienced the devastation of divorce. Unfortunately, that’s far from true. More than half of the population has or will go through divorce and while that should give you some measure of comfort, it may also make you very timid about ever making such a commitment to anyone again.

You’ll take a lot of steps, some big and some small. You’ll stumble once in a while. Maybe you’ll even fall. We all do. Sometimes there’s no one around who can lend a hand to help you up and you learn to depend upon yourself, to draw strength from within instead of seeking it from others. That inner strength may not be so easy to reach but it’s there and when you do tap into it you won’t be so afraid of what life throws at you.