It is not easy to give up the life and the dreams that you thought were going to last forever, but when your husband or wife is no longer sharing that life and those dreams you have little choice.
You can spend your time trying to reconstruct that past life. You can dissect that life to place blame on the person responsible for its demise. You can hold tight to a future that no longer exists.
You can do any or all of these things because you have ultimate control over what you do with your life. You don’t have ultimate control over where the path you choose to walk will eventually take you.
What is your plan for the rest of your life? Will you spend it looking backward and mourning what could have been with someone who no longer wants to be a part of that life with you? Will you spend it blaming your ex for “destroying” your life? Will you hold onto the hope that if you change yourself enough he or she will return and all will be as it was?
Will you let anger for their actions consume you? If you do, you will be adding obstacles in your path to the future. Trust me, that path already has enough obstacles for you to maneuver around without any unnecessary ones being added to it.
Will you spend your time looking with the knowledge the past can never be recreated? Will you focus on defining an even better future for yourself? Will you place yourself and your needs first?
Will you forgive yourself for mistakes you may have made? Will you take time to heal emotionally before inviting someone new into your life? Will you forgive your ex for his or her weaknesses?
It may take baby steps and going one day at a time. You may need the help of others to work through the grief, the anger, the fear, and the dependencies that keep you locked in the past. Seek out that support when you need it. You’re not being weak.
Looking forward instead of back is your choice to make. Is it easy? Not even remotely! But if you want to make the best of the short life you’ll spend on this earth you must start now with small steps walking — or crawling — forward toward your future.
No one else can take those steps for you. You are the only person in control of you.