Divorce intimidates people. You learn just how much when you’re dealing with your own divorce and some of your friends stop calling “just to talk” and they are always too busy to get together.
As you go through a divorce, you’re going to lose some friendships regardless if you are the one who initiated the divorce, the one who didn’t want the divorce, or if your divorce was a “friendly” one that both you and your spouse decided was the best thing to do.
If you and your ex had a less than amicable split it may be that some of your friends have decided to exclude you from their events because they are on friendlier terms with your ex. Maybe they are friends you “inherited” through marriage and they just like your ex more, which is their right.
Some people can’t be friends with both parties in a divorce; they feel like they are “betraying” the person they are most friends with if they also remain friends with the ex. Gatherings can get uncomfortable if a divorced couple attends the same event with or without new partners.
Married friends have more reasons why they may not stay in touch with you. If they’re unhappily married they may envy your new “freedom” despite any problems or pitfalls you may be experiencing. No one wants to be reminded that with courage they could get out of a miserable marriage.
Married women get intimidated when their husbands become overly solicitous to their newly divorced female friends. They are afraid, and sometimes with good reason, that a bond will develop between their “white knight” husband and their “damsel in distress” friend. It is much easier to drop the friend than chance damaging the marriage.
Women don’t particularly want their husbands remaining friends with newly divorced male friends, either. They don’t want their husbands hearing about the newly single man’s dating exploits, nor do they want them partying with a man who doesn’t need to remember his marriage vows. They absolutely don’t want their husbands to see any positives in divorce.
Couples in committed dating relationships may not include you in their social events for the same reasons. As long as you are single and not involved in a relationship, you are a potential threat to their relationship. Alone, you are a third wheel; you’ll fit better once you have again become part of a couple.
As you adjust to single life you will meet new friends, most of whom will probably be divorced just as you are and you will have that common bond upon which to build friendships. As you move into new love relationships the dynamics of your friendships will continue to change.
If you remarry, most likely the majority of your friendships will be with others who are either married or in committed relationships and the majority of your single friendships will end.