What is your attitude (or mood) when you talk about your marriage? Are you negative, angry, resentful? Do you blame your ex or almost ex-spouse for the marriage failing? Do you get angry if friends or family show signs of forgiveness toward your ex?
Your current attitude will be a major factor in just how long it takes for you to put positive closure on your failed marriage.
When you think of your marriage do you remember only the high points, the positives, the good times? Do those memories keep you from moving forward, from letting go of the past? Do those memories keep you from detaching from a bad marriage?
Or do you remember only the low points, the negatives, the bad times? Do those memories keep you from moving forward, from letting go of the past? Do those memories keep you from letting go of your anger and either working on repairing your marriage or making a complete break?
Do you think of what you don’t have and ignore what you do have? Do you want what you can’t have and would rather not keep what you do have? Is your life half full or half empty as a result of your divorce?
While your attitude may not be “everything” as the phrase goes, it is certainly a key part of just how well or how badly your life’s battles will go.
You can blame your spouse for your problems. That won’t change anything. You can blame yourself for your problems. That won’t make your problems go away. Or, you can change your attitude, accept that not everything that happens in life will be to your liking but whatever happens you’ll deal with it to the best of your ability.
There is much we experience throughout life that isn’t going to be pleasant. The only way to deal with those things that are beyond our control is to use the experience to our advantage and move on.