Can’t convince them to change their ways? Desperation definitely won’t help your cause. When your marriage splits into thousands of fragments, none of which you can put back together, desperation becomes a way of life.
You plead for them to reconsider. They don’t. You beg for them to stay with you. They won’t. You cry and say your life is over without them. They don’t care. You threaten to do something stupid if they won’t return. They say “go ahead.”
When the two of you married, you wrapped your life around theirs. It’s the way marriage works – the two of you become one. You have the same common cause, share the same life goals. You’re partners for life.
Along the way, something changed between the two of you. You disentangled from each other, or at least he (or she) from you. You may still believe the two of you are partners for life – but now, that’s only your opinion.
Controlling the situation does not mean you can control how your husband or wife feels about you. It means that you can control how you handle your feelings and actions about the present situation.
Nothing you can say or do will make them come back to you or rejoin the marriage. Take control of the situation by accepting the fact that you can’t control their actions. No matter how painful their decision may be, it is their decision.
You can only control yourself. Desperation comes from not having control of what’s happening within your life. Once you realize that you can’t control his or her feelings and once you make the decision to change those things you yourself actually do have control of, you’ll feel less desperate.
When you feel less desperate, you will be more in control. When you are more in control, your attitude will change. When your attitude changes, it might make a difference in how they react and relate to you.
Desperation is not attractive. Being in control of yourself is.
Relationships are fragile things. Husbands and wives are each bombarded with outside influences that seek to destroy the partnership they share with each other. Sometimes those outside influences succeed in getting a grip because the partner is weak for one crucial moment.
No matter how strong outside influences may be, it still takes the willing participation by the husband or wife to allow disruption within the marriage. It always takes two to make an unhappy marriage or a divorce become a reality.
Whatever has come between the love you used to share, accept that it takes two to put it back together. Also accept that if he or she has declared they are through, you, too, must move on.
No one said life was always fair for all participants.