If you are experiencing turmoil in your marriage, or the loneliness of divorce, let me welcome you to “my place” and let me assure you that the pain does get less and less with time. I’d like to share some thoughts and ideas with you. Some might make you angry, some might give you hope.
Each divorce is different than the one before it. Just as no two people are alike, no divorce is a carbon copy of another. You have to stumble through sometimes, hoping that your decisions are correct for your situation. Some will be. Others probably won’t be.
As long as you keep making decisions and moving toward the goal of getting through the process and over the pain, you’re making progress and your life will change for the better.
Loneliness doesn’t go away just because you have someone in your life. Two is a terrible number if one is unhappy.
Divorce doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Failure happens when you don’t do everything in your power to change your life or the situations that are making you unhappy. If you do the best you can, and it still doesn’t work out, then you haven’t failed.
Everything happens for a reason. The reason may not be clear today, tomorrow or the next day, but one day you’ll say “Now I understand!”
The only person over whom you have control is yourself. You cannot make someone love you. You cannot force someone to stay if they want to go.
Attitude is everything. Very few people want to be around someone with a bad attitude for very long.
As difficult as it is, learn to smile. After a while, you’ll do it without having to make so much effort. Smiling will make you feel better. Even when your heart is breaking. Smiling will make them wonder what you’re so darn happy about when they expected you to be sad.
Forget the past. It’s over, done, written in stone. If you cry about it, you’re wasting tears. If you try to change it, you’re wasting your time. Use the past as a learning tool, a history lesson, to avoid the same mistakes now and in the future.