Well, as much as I love Richard, my date with Leon showed me what I’ve been missing… so… I’ve had a change of heart!”
On the dating show “Change of Heart,” popular a few seasons ago, a couple shares with viewers the frustrations they feel about their relationship and then agree to each go on blind dates to see whether they’ll stay together or dump their current partner for their blind date.
Quite frankly, it’s a mean little show that allows viewers to watch the reactions of the other partner while his or her significant other talks about the juicy details of his or her blind date. Of course, the blind date is doing his or her best to be the absolutely perfect date — not like the dud boyfriend or girlfriend. Why not? Anyone can be perfect for a few hours.
And then they get to choose: will they “Stay Together” or have a “Change of Heart”? Yep, some people choose to dump their partner on national television. Humiliating? Yes. But couples willingly put themselves and their private lives on public display so the rest of us may be entertained.
What does this have to do with divorce? Plenty, considering the numbers of husbands and wives who get a “change of heart” and decide that they would rather divorce their spouse than work through their marital problems.
Granted, there are some problems that may not be resolved. When a spouse won’t seek help for alcoholism, drug abuse, or an abusive or violent temper, divorce may be the only way out. But so many marriages split when one partner strays and finds someone they consider more exciting than their current spouse. “Sorry, honey, I don’t love you anymore.”
Marriage is a long term commitment. Dating isn’t. Marriage means you’ve sifted through all the possibilities and the person you’ve chosen to establish a home and family with is the one who rose to the top. Dating is the time during which you sift through all those possibilities.
Marriage is a “work in progress.” Marriage takes daily work. Marriage is continual compromise. Marriage is not something that you walk casually away from when you have a “change of heart.”
Marriage isn’t going to be all good times. When you’re sharing a life with someone on a full time basis, there are guaranteed to be times that one or the other of you will be less than sparkling, when you’re going to wonder if you should have a “change of heart.”
ANY relationship will have rough spots. That sweetie you feel is more in tune with you than your wife is showing her best side because she knows that’s what it takes to set the hook. That charming man who says all the right things that make you feel so beautiful knows what to say because he’s had lots of practice. Have a “change of heart,” dump your spouse, and see how wonderful your new love looks when day-to-day routine sets in.
Divorce is a last resort. If you feel a “change of heart” coming on, stop and think about what you’re giving up. You’ll have a lifetime to regret a bad decision. If you do decide to go, have the balls to walk out of that door alone. THEN find someone new.