He has cheated multiple times always promising his wife each affair would be his last affair. She has finally had enough and has filed for divorce. He asks: “Do you have any suggestions as to what my (our) next step should be, am I approaching this problem correctly? I love my wife, and am ready to commit my heart and soul in preserving it for good. I can’t even think of not being there for my girls or leaving them practically fatherless. And I know in my heart we can have a long and successful marriage.”
I said:
I don’t see any solid foundation to this relationship you call a marriage. You’ve cheated and lied, and still haven’t been totally honest with your wife. Why do you fail to understand that in this entire world, she is the ONE person that you should open yourself completely to? In my opinion, it may be much too late for any reconstruction at this point.
Who cares if she’s not a “hot commodity” in the marriage market if she leaves you? Honest, good, women are always going to be of value, even if they have four children in their care. And don’t forget you share responsibility for the care of those children, whether or not your marriage survives.
A miracle might happen and you might change. If she does give you another chance, I sincerely hope you are able to understand the gift you will have been given.
If she is unable to forgive and give you another chance, if the pain is too great, if her need for self-preservation is overpowering her desire to try one more time, then you will have to accept the fact that you got smart a little too late.
This is just my opinion, of course. It’s up to your wife to make the decision that’s best for her. That decision may mean a life without you in it.