She is 25, has a 3-year old daughter, and has been married for four years to a man who promised he would quit smoking pot when they got married. His habit has turned from weekend toking to everyday use. She can’t make him give up the pot so she is going to file for divorce and wonders how to tell him that she’s leaving.
My response…
Addiction to pot is no less dangerous than addiction to other illegal drugs. In some respects it may be even more dangerous because the pot smoker believes he or she is in control. It’s an illusion as the weed itself becomes the most important part of life in place of family and friends.
You cannot reason with him when he says that what he does affects his body only and not yours. It’s more of a subjective argument as you try to tell him that second hand pot smoke is dangerous to you. Or that pot smoking has been proven to cut sperm count in men. Or that some male pot smokers are easy to spot because they have enlarged breasts. He could care less.
He could care less when you tell him that his pot smoking will cut his response time when he’s driving and he might end up in a traffic accident that a sober driver could avoid. Perhaps you already have thought about what will happen should he get caught with pot. What your husband does is endanger you with his possession of an illegal drug.
Consider this: If the two of you are together and he is busted, you end up in jail with him until you’re able to prove your innocence. Depending upon where this happens, it might be an extremely unpleasant experience and maybe the authorities won’t believe you’re not involved. If you’re around him when he smokes, the secondhand smoke you inhale will make you test positive for pot.
Your husband probably doesn’t care, this is his lifestyle. He perhaps cannot imagine life without you, but he cannot imagine life without pot even more. Do you really want to come up second to an illegal drug?
There is no easy way to deal with his addiction. Something to the effect of, “I truly love you but I just can’t live with your addiction any longer” is a starting point.
He puts everything at risk. The unhappy thing is that pot smokers can’t see the truth through that smoky haze. They really believe the rest of the world is wrong.
Good luck. You’re in for a tough battle. If he was involved with a woman, you’d stand a better chance of getting him back.