She wrote to ask if there was any way to make adultery illegal. Adultery is a moral crime and in some U.S. states it is grounds for divorce. In some parts of the world, an adulterer can be put to death. But should it be a criminal offense?
If adultery were illegal in the same sense as selling drugs is illegal, what would be gained? Offenders could be arrested, subject to jury trial, and, if convicted, given prison time or subjected to huge fines, or both. But would this stop adultery? The threat of arrest and conviction doesn’t stop people from selling drugs, robbing banks, murdering, and committing numerous other crimes.
The consequences of adultery right now are severe: divorce and the aftermath. If someone is willing to risk their marriage, why would they not be willing to risk arrest and punishment in the courts? It is the risk of getting caught that makes infidelity so enticing to many spouses who cheat.
The criminal courts may not have any impact on adulterous relationships but some betrayed spouses have taken their betrayers to court or sued the other person for alienation of affection.
In 1997, the state of North Carolina ruled in favor of the ex-wife in an alienation of affection lawsuit and ruled the new wife should pay the ex-wife, Dorothy Hutelmyer, $1 million in damages. In this particular case, when Mr. Hutelmyer divorced Wife #1 to make his secretary Wife #2, Mrs. Hutelmyer #1 sued the former secretary blaming her for the breakup of her marriage.
The jury agreed with Wife #1 and ordered Wife #2 to pay $1 million for breaking up what had once been a “storybook marriage.” The judgement amounted to $500,000 for the “alienation of affection” charge and another $500,000 for “criminal conversations” (adultery).