We all do stupid things in the name of love. Some things are much more “stupid” than others. Of course, while we’re doing them, and sometimes even after the love is long gone, we still don’t see what we could have done differently.
Let me share with you one woman’s account of her marital breakup and for a moment, you take her place, you think about what you would have done, and if you would have done anything differently than she did. First, her story:
“Not sure where to begin. I let a family friend move in with my husband and I because she didn’t have anyone else. After about a year, I found out that she was sleeping with my husband, and I confronted them. I loved my husband so much that I said OK go ahead as long as you are happy. (My fault.)
This continued for 4 years and then she was starting to date another man, and my husband got insanely jealous, which caused a lot of problems. He then came out and told me that he loved her more than me and wanted a divorce. We separated after 16 years of marriage. The divorce is final and now they are getting married. I’m the one that lost, I still can’t seem to get over him, I still love him very much. Now I’m the lonely one.”
When I got her email, I admit to being stunned that any woman would allow her husband to cheat openly, give her blessing to the cheating, allow it to go on for four years in her home, and then be surprised when her marriage fell apart.
Are her actions much different than what many of us do in order to keep our marriages together?
Is it easier to see what someone else should have done, to say what we would have done, when it’s not happening in our home, in our bed?
Take a look at your life, at the relationship you have with your husband or wife, or the relationship you had when your marriage was reasonably intact. What should you have done differently? Or can you not see because you are still wearing emotional blinders?
We all make mistakes. The trick, the path to future happiness, is to learn from them so we don’t make them again.