Think your husband or wife is cheating? Here are a few tips that might help catch a cheater.
Keep your mouth closed and your eyes and ears open. Your spouse is apt to make more mistakes if you act trusting and dumb than if you accuse them of cheating.
Keep a detailed journal of your spouse’s activities. Is there a pattern to your spouse’s “extra” times away? Record times and dates of phone calls that are hang-ups and/or wrong numbers.
Check his or her pockets for receipts. Go through their wallet or purse.
If they travel, call them back a couple hours after their nightly phone call home. Check the mileage on the car before and after trips.
Call unknown phone numbers from a pay phone (just in case the person you’re calling has Caller ID), say nothing, see if you can identify who answers.
Smell their clothing but make sure that “perfume” isn’t actually your bath soap or their regular cologne.
Become unpredictable. Show up at your spouse’s office for lunch without notice. Say you’re working late when you plan on being home early or on time.
Read their email if you know their passwords. If they use Instant Messaging, find out if they’re using multiple IDs and monitor the time they’re online.
Do not accuse your spouse of cheating until you have enough evidence to prove it and you’re ready to take action. Do not confront your spouse with evidence of their cheating until you can handle their response. Suspecting is one thing; having them confirm their adultery is much worse.
If you are cheating on your spouse, do not assume that your spouse has to be cheating on you.
© Pat Gaudette. All rights reserved.
Order Pat’s books from Amazon.com: How to Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis: Strategies and Stories from the Midlife Wives Club and Midnight Confessions: True Stories of Adultery.