I suppose the title of this article is a bit misleading since I’m not going to suggest any one book about sexual technique is better than another. What I am suggesting is that if sexual needs and books on the subject were equated, “most” men and women would not be “reading” the same book.
From what I’ve read in emails I’ve received and on forums I monitor, if sex was a book, it would be published in two versions, one for men and the other for women.
The book for women would be printed on expensive parchment in rich inks and titled something like “Kisses in the Moonlight” (which, incidentally, is the title of a song by George Benson). The cover might be gilded or embossed. The text within the book would be filled with extravagant descriptions. Each chapter would leave the reader wanting more so that it would be difficult to put the book down without finishing. After reading the last word of the last chapter, the feeling of having read a truly wonderful story would linger. Reading and re-reading the book would produce the same feelings of peace and contentment.
For most men, their book of sex would be quite different. Titled something like “The Huge Book of Sex,” it would have few pages and very little text. There would be no flowery introduction, no chapters of build-up, no surprises. This book could be a quick read but, just as the book for women would provide peace and contentment, so would this book provide the same feelings of peace and contentment in men.
During courtship, most couples are “reading” the same “book.” It should be no surprise that the courtship book for both men and women would most likely be “Kisses in the Moonlight” and not “The Huge Book of Sex.” Except for pure sex relationships and one-night stands, most couples take the romance path to sexual intimacy, a path the majority of women expect will continue throughout the relationship, a path men know will get them to “home base.”
When does an intimate relationship change from romance to “just” sex? Is it when one person takes the other for granted? Is it when “everything else” becomes a priority to the other partner’s needs? Is it when “making love” becomes “doing what is expected”? Is it when one partner feels obligated to “do it” whether or not he or she is in the mood?
In my opinion, in an ideal world of sexual intimacy, men and women would be on the same page in the same book at the same time. There are times when “The Huge Book of Sex” is the appropriate book and other times when “Kisses in the Moonlight” is more appropriate. A successful sexual relationship won’t have only one popular “book” in its library.