They’ve been married for less than a year and apparently there’s not been much good about their marriage so far. They dated five years prior to their wedding and things weren’t so great then either but they went ahead with the marriage anyway. She’s now met someone who she likes and doesn’t know how to tell her husband she wants a divorce.
I said:
Leave the other guy alone. Getting emotionally and/or physically involved with him will only complicate the relationship between you and your husband. Regardless of your needs, leaning on another person for support of any kind while you’re married can hurt your husband far more than just being honest and saying you don’t think the marriage is working and you want a divorce.
Consider, too, the type of guy who is willing to get involved with a married woman. Some men consider married women “safe” for affairs but they run the other way if their affair partner talks divorce. They don’t want the work involved with long term commitment. They want the excitement of the affair. The thrill of having someone else’s wife.
From what you have written, you should never have gotten married. Neither of you had a chance to experience adulthood on your own and now, as you mature, your needs and expectations are changing. This is a very real hazard of teen relationships that end in marriage. Even if you didn’t marry until you were in your early 20s, you’ve been together since he was 17 and you were 18.
Walking away before the vows would have caused far less harm than divorce. Unfortunately, that’s a lesson couples seem to have to learn the hard way. As you are finding out, life’s lessons exact a high price.
As far as whether you should stay or go, that’s a decision you ultimately must make. There are things you can do to perhaps turn your marriage around although it takes two people to make a successful marriage.
While sex is an important aspect of marriage, it isn’t just his job to make it “good.” There are plenty of books and videos that would give you tips on how to give and get the most from your intimate times together. Is it worth it to at least try?
Any marriage takes work. Don’t expect that if you divorce this man that the next marriage will be everything you’ve wanted and easy to maintain. That’s not reality.
If you love this man, invest into the relationship and work on repairing the marriage. If you don’t love him, then divorce him, work on yourself, and learn to live independently without depending on someone else for your happiness.
That’s just my opinion, of course. Take what you need and ignore the rest.