Stay or go? It’s one of the top questions when someone starts looking for information about divorce. Should they try to save save their marriage or should they call it quits? The answer is unique to each of us.
We all have our “lines in the sand” that will either be crossed, making the decision clear, or will continue to be moved ahead of us, making the decision less clear.
None of us can tell someone else how much they should tolerate or when they should leave their marriage. Each of us must come to that decision in our own time, in our own way.
Marriages can be repaired only if both partners are willing to work on rebuilding the relationship. That’s not to say that one person can’t hold a marriage together, because one person can keep the marriage from ending if their spouse isn’t pushing for divorce.
A wife may decide that she’d rather remain married to an unfaithful husband than confront and face the consequences of divorce. Until he decides the marriage is over, she readjusts her needs and remains married. Her choice is to stay. If her husband wants a divorce, she could beg, plead, and threaten but if he is determined to go, there is absolutely nothing she’ll be able to do to change his mind.
Now, her best choice would be to focus on divorce survival, protecting herself (and any dependent children), and working toward repairing her life. His choice is to go regardless of what she wants.
Or, she may choose to go. His betrayal may have crossed her “line in the sand” and she may choose to end the marriage, regardless of what he wants or how much he may beg, plead, or threaten.
I don’t like divorce. Neither do I like marriage without commitment. As far as “stay or go” decisions, sometimes you have a choice, sometimes you don’t. There is one choice you do have. That is to focus on the future, because time has a way of working things out.