Divorce begins long before the legalities start. Divorce begins when your marriage turns sour, when you wonder if it’s worth the fight, when the gentle touch turns to abuse, when the occasional drink turns into uncontrolled alcoholism, or when you learn your spouse hasn’t been truthful in the relationship and knowing that truth you begin deciding whether you should stay or go.
Divorce isn’t always the answer to a troubled marriage. You have to weigh the options, decide whether it’s better that you go or better that you hang in there and accept the ups and downs of your marriage. Marriage is compromise. How much compromise is too much? Only you can make that decision.
How do you quit a marriage that has consumed so many years of your life? A marriage into which you have poured all of your hopes and dreams? How can you possibly let go of that life, those memories?
And what about the children? How do you explain to them that mommy and daddy no longer want to live together, that the family is no longer a live-in-the-same-house family? What could you possibly say or do to make the divorce easier for the children?
If you’re like many of us, you haven’t a clue as to the legalies of divorce. It wasn’t something you needed to know. Now’s the time you must learn about such things in order to protect yourself and your interests.
Providing divorce support isn’t just about working through the legalities, it’s about developing your own self-esteem, getting you to understand that divorce doesn’t mean you’re a ‘reject’ in the pool of life. Now, more than ever, you need to know that despite the failure of your marriage, you’re OK!
Throughout it all, you learn to survive the pain and the shattered dreams.
Divorce support extends past the final decree, it extends into that unknown territory we’ll call “divorced and dating.” It’s a new game, with a whole new set of rules.
Throughout it all, it helps to know that you’re not alone, there are others who have empathy for what you’re going through because they’ve gone through it themselves.
Of this I’m sure: Divorce is a bitch. Of this I’m also sure: Sometimes you just don’t have any other options, whether it’s your decision or your spouse’s.
Above all, take care of yourself.