Children learn from their environment. Living with a father who is abusive to their mother teaches them that abuse is acceptable. They believe it’s a normal way that husbands and wives relate to each other. They may grow up to abuse their spouse or they may grow up and marry an abuser. Either way, they continue the cycle of abuse and then pass it along to their children.
Perhaps their father is being abused by their mother. The same message is transmitted to the children: abuse is a normal part of a marital relationship. Men and women who love each other, abuse each other. Or, men and women who love each other, allow themselves to be abused. Or, by hitting, a husband (or wife) shows love.
A parent can tell a child abuse is wrong but words are empty if their actions don’t match. There are many things a parent can and should teach a child. Children should be taught that abuse is wrong and that no one should live in an abusive home. They need to know that an abuse-free single parent home is better than living in a home where one parent abuses the other.
And when you think about it… if you’re being abused and don’t do something to set the right example for your children… you also aren’t doing anything to stop the damage to them.