It’s easier to recognize abuse when it involves physical violence. Hitting, punching, beating leave marks that are obvious. If the person being abused is seeking help, the marks are obvious evidence to the abuse.
Emotional and verbal abuse isn’t that easy to spot and most times the abuser acts entirely different when other people are present. If there are witnesses to the abuse they are probably other family members who are incapable of doing anything to stop it or too afraid that the abuse will be turned their way.
Domestic abuse occurs in many different ways including such abuse as:
A husband who forces his wife to have sex when she isn’t in the mood.
A mother who tells her child he or she is stupid or fat or ugly.
A wife who humiliates her husband in front of family and friends.
A husband who threatens, belittles, and demeans his wife.
A wife who constantly screams profanities at her husband.
A father who threatens to harm his child.
A husband who demands detailed accounts of all money spent.
A wife who demeans her husband’s sexual ability.
Abuse takes two: the abuser and the abused. Recognizing the cycle of abuse is the first step in doing something to end it. Recognizing that someone is being an abuser does not mean that the abuser will change.
Recognizing that you are being abused means you can work toward changing yourself so that your history of abuse doesn’t leave a permanent mark on your future relationships as you turn from the abused to the abuser.