Whew! You never thought you’d get to this spot, but you’re here! Married. Committed. “‘Til death do you part.” Time to relax, take it easy, all the hard work’s done. Wrong! The hard work is just beginning! Keeping the sizzle and romance in a marriage is a full time job, and a lot more difficult than keeping the flame in courtship.
Some people view the marriage commitment as having “won” the trophy and they move on to seek another trophy. The greater challenge is keeping a marriage strong and vital yet the mate who seeks new relationships is hooked on the excitement and passion of new love.
Should the marriage begin to fail, should his or her mate decide to leave the marriage, the challenge returns and they become a new trophy to be won. It is a most unsatisfactory relationship for the “trophy” mate and some take themselves out of the game early on while others let themselves be worn down before they move on.
Before you’re married, there’s always the chance he or she will meet someone new. A chance they’ll find another person more attractive and the relationship you and he, or she, share will end. That knowledge (or fear) will keep you on your toes, keep your best side always on display. It will make you treasure the relationship and them. Then you “win” the game. You get married and you believe “’til death” means until one of you dies. And perhaps it does.
But what about ’til death of my love for you… Or ’til death of my respect for you… Or ’til death of my trust in you… If you take your marriage partner for granted, believing that once the vows are spoken they are locked forever to you, you may find yourself in divorce court or, at best, in a very unhappy marriage.
Never take your marriage for granted. Marriage vows are broken every day. Never take your marriage partner for granted. Don’t assume they don’t face temptation every day. Don’t assume they’ll come home to you every night. Don’t believe they will accept abuse just because they love you. Don’t believe they will accept cheating because they love you. Don’t be mislead that they have to stay if they’re unhappy. They don’t.
Treasure each day you spend with your husband or wife as the last day you’ll see them. It could be. Accidents happen and lives are lost?will the survivors ever forget September 11, 2001? Will any of us?
A successful marriage is a full time job. Take the challenge, give it your best and you’ll have no regrets if it ends unexpectedly.