Let’s suppose you are divorced, or are in the process of a divorce. There’s just one little problem, sex has never been a weak point in your marriage. As a matter of fact, it probably has been the only constantly good part of the relationship. What do you do?
You know that it would probably be the best thing to put him (or her) out of your mind for good and move on to getting your life back on track. But, how do you get those randy thoughts and desires for him (or her) to go away?
What makes it oh, so much more difficult is that he (or she) seems to be perfectly willing to continue the sex play on a casual basis, no strings or commitments, or recriminations involved.
Perhaps he was the first and only man with whom you were intimate. You’re comfortable with him, uncomfortable with the thought of being intimate with anyone else. Perhaps she’s the only woman who ever really set you on fire. You’ve been obsessed with the physical relationship since the first day the two of you “did it.”
Perhaps you’re willing to accept the physical intimacy as affirmation that he (or she) still truly does love you even though the marriage has ended. Could you? Should you? Would you?
Will sex with your ex cause you problems as you try to get on with your life? Perhaps you’ve already faced the situation and dealt with it. If so, are you happy with the decision you made?
Remaining physically intimate with an ex may seem to be a harmless solution to loneliness and taking care of sexual needs. But men and women regard the sex act differently. An ex-husband may be able to remain completely emotionally unattached and enjoy sex with his ex purely for the sake of sex. For his ex-wife, if she is like the majority of women, the “booty call” sends her a signal that the relationship still has a chance of being repaired.
Exes cannot continue sexual relationships and expect new persons they date to understand or tolerate sexual intimacy with an ex. It’s a non-negotiable point for most people who date once the relationship moves past the opening stages. Would you want to date someone who still was sexually intimate with their ex?
Sex with your ex? Only if you’re looking for trouble. That’s my opinion.