He found proof his wife cheated but they decided to stay together and work on repairing their marriage. His resentment over her affair continued to grow and he decided to cheat on her to “even the score.” As soon as he had sex he called his wife to tell her that they were even. He doesn’t understand why she now wants a divorce. He says he cheated because she did and, if he could forgive her, she should be able to forgive him.
I said:
Let me get this straight. She cheated and you figured the only way to get your marriage back to the perfect place it used to be was to even the score by having sex with someone else — after a lot of drinks, of course — and then immediately bragging to your wife about it? And you’re surprised that she now wants a divorce?
You’re justifying having sex with someone else because your wife cheated on you. Weren’t the two of you supposedly working to repair your marriage after her betrayal? How exactly was revenge sex supposed to bring the two of you closer together?
She chose to cheat and has had to live with the consequences. You chose to cheat and now you’ll have to live with the consequences. And, for the record, you didn’t forgive her or you wouldn’t have needed to “even the score.”
If you’re in counseling, stay there. I can’t help you.