She asked for advice regarding a situation that surfaced between her and the man she was dating. She is divorced and on civil terms with her ex. An upcoming trip with her children that also included her ex was causing jealousy with the new man in her life.
Since I don’t have children I can’t respond to the situation as a parent. All I can do is respond as I would have if I’d been in a similar situation while dating. If I was dating someone casually what they did when we weren’t together wouldn’t have been any of my concern; casual means no strings attached.
When dating takes on more of a committed nature and the people involved start thinking long range then I think it’s natural to be concerned when a potential “threat” to the relationship pops up. For me, traveling with an ex — without me along — would fall into the “threat” category.
The ex is always part of the package that comes with dating a divorced parent. Just how involved the ex is in day-to-day activities depends a lot on the nature of the divorce as well as the maturity of the people involved. I do know it’s always in the best interests of the children when a mother and father can get along even after their marriage has ended.
What type of signals do potential suitors receive when a divorced man and wife travel as a family unit? What kind of hopes does it raise for the kids?
It’s a sticky issue and each person who enters the dating game after their divorce will have to work out what best fits with their situation. There definitely is no one answer that will solve the problem for everyone.