Her husband didn’t come home one night and she worried that something had happened to him. When he called the next morning, he said that he had spent the night with someone he picked up in a bar. She doesn’t know how he could be so cruel or why he would cheat. She’s in the process of divorce and having problems moving past the “why.”
I said:
Somewhere between the fantasy man you hoped you were marrying, and the husband who spent the night with someone he picked up in a bar, is the real man.
You admit there were problems. Did you acknowledge them then or has it been the clarity of hindsight that lets you see them now? Problems don’t resolve themselves by being ignored but people who are ignored often resolve problems in hurtful ways.
Why did he do this? I have absolutely no clue but you might. You’re the one who shared a home with him. Why do you think he did this? Or do you want people to put forth theories until you hear one that is acceptable or matches with your own?
If you want to continue to waste your time looking for answers you may never get, do it. Many people never get the answers to questions such as this and you may not either. As long as you continue to dwell on “why,” this man takes up valuable space in your life.
If you want to move past this, seek counseling to help with acceptance and healing, get your divorce finalized, and don’t take this man’s actions personally. He did what he did because he was too weak to leave home alone.