They have dealt with many serious issues throughout their 15-year marriage. Those issues have brought them to a crossroads. It’s time to commit and repair their marriage or let go and move on. She isn’t sure if she can get back the feelings she used to have for him.
I said:
There’s always hope, but it takes tremendous work on your part, and his, to return to a marriage filled with love. From what you say, your marriage hasn’t been a joyous one for a long time. Perhaps your relationship was founded on emotional needs that are no longer valid.
The two of you are changing, hopefully for the better. That means you’re not the same people you were at the beginning of your marriage, when the “spark” was strong, when your “needs” matched.
Do you want to want him because he needs you, or because you need him as well? Can you love him as a friend? Has he ever been a friend? Have you ever really enjoyed each other’s company? Can you make each other smile? Can you get to the emotional intimacy level with your husband that you got to with your male friend? Can he with you?
How numb would you feel if you saw him in the arms of another woman? Would you care? Would you cry? Or would you rejoice and move on?
Don’t dump 15 years without a strong effort, but don’t stay because you think holding on is your only option.