Taking any relationship slow and easy is the best approach. It’s not always easy as each person may be in a different stage of emotional growth or turmoil and their needs are different. One may be ready for a more intensive relationship or commitment, while the other person may only need someone to give them a hug and a kind word.
Rebound relationships are like that. Each person needs something from the other, but while one is ready for long term commitment, the other is only in it for the short term (although they may not know it at the time). The pain comes from believing that each person understands the other’s needs and thinking those needs are the same when they’re actually quite opposite.
People who are newly divorced need comfort and kind words. They desperately need hugs. They will reach out and embrace the person who gives them the comfort they need. Once that need has been met, they can then begin working on the unresolved emotional issues brought to the surface by their divorce.
As they begin working through those issues, their needs change. They may not need so much hugging. Their need for a comforting person in their life may diminish. The relationship built upon comfort and kind words now needs more ingredients to continue to grow.
It may not be kind words and hugs that a newly divorced person needs as much as feeling “comfortable” in a relationship. If they have just come out of a long term abusive relationship, abuse in a new relationship may put them into their “comfort zone.” The new relationship may be successful until they resolve old issues and find they no longer need to be abused to feel loved.
A lot of rebound relationships don’t have long term potential once the needy person begins emotional recovery.