In my opinion, the Golden Rule should be the first rule you should follow if you want to have a successful marriage. There are many versions throughout history, in various religions, and in most cultures, but all versions basically distill to: Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.
This doesn’t mean you should allow an unfaithful spouse, an abusive spouse, or an addicted or alcoholic spouse to control your life. Forgiving an errant spouse when they’ve truly changed and are sorry for their past actions is the Golden Rule in effect. You give the same as you’d wish to receive when you err.
If you’re in a marriage in which your spouse is so in control and so abusive or unfaithful or addicted that your emotional life is at stake, there’s another “rule” that comes into play for many people: the rule of survival. It’s a survival instinct that puts importance on personal happiness and not on material possessions or what someone else thinks you should do.
A successful marriage is full of compromises. The key word here is “successful” and I think another “rule” that might be appropriate is: be true to yourself. That’s not to say that everything must be your way or no way. If a situation is causing you so much pain and your spouse is unwilling to work with you to make it better, then it’s time for you to “be true to yourself” — and your children if you’re a parent — and do what’s necessary to change the situation.