Did divorce catch you off guard? Or has your marriage been “on the brink” for a number of years? Have you been “settling” for the “security” of marriage even though you felt your relationship could be better?
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\nWhen you’re in the midst of the struggle, trying to figure out how you’re going to keep yourself (and your children) financially solvent, and fighting the fears inherent with divorce, it’s unlikely you are looking at the positive aspects of your current situation. You may see no positives in your life right now.<\/p>\n
Now is the time to take a “time out.” With pad and pencil in hand, write down all the “good” you believe you are losing because of your divorce. It may be quite a long list as you put down things as diverse as “social standing in the community,” “activities with in-laws,” “travel,” etc. You get the idea, list those things that currently “fit” with your marriage.<\/p>\n
Next, write down all the “bad” you have accepted within your marriage in order to have the “good.” This is where you would put such things as “verbal abuse,” “sexual abuse,” “drug use,” “alcoholism,” “adultery,” or maybe even “boredom” and\/or “dysfunctional in-laws”. Anything you perceive as bad within your marriage goes here.<\/p>\n
Keep your lists someplace where you can continue to add and subtract from both the good and the bad columns. Take a look at them periodically so you can become very comfortable with what you’ve been accepting in order for your marriage to continue. How much of “you” has been lost in the process? Was the “bad” trade-off worth the “good” that you received?<\/p>\n
Even if your marriage is not in danger of divorce, it is a good idea to reflect on the positives and negatives within the relationship. If you can enhance the positives and work on the negatives you might catch and correct divorce-making situations early enough to avoid a day in divorce court. Any relationship can be analyzed in the same way.<\/p>\n
Do you know how good your marriage is? Have you determined how bad your marriage was? Introspective lists will provide some surprising answers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Did divorce catch you off guard? Or has your marriage been “on the brink” for a number of years? Have you been “settling” for the “security” of marriage even though you felt your relationship could be better?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/922"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=922"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/922\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2991,"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/922\/revisions\/2991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=922"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=922"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patg.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=922"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}