She’s 24, married less than two years. It’s her first marriage, his second. She goes to college and works in the evening. He works during the day in a job that he doesn’t enjoy. She says the passion is gone from their marriage and they’ve been talking about divorce. She wonders if their marriage can be repaired.
I said:
I think your school and work schedule has you too worn out to be able to enjoy sex as much as you might want to in order to satisfy your husband’s needs. It’s too bad when the need to succeed puts such a strain on your personal life but you’re certainly not alone.
Your husband is unhappy with his job and that’s a much more important part of his thoughts about himself than most women could realize. Men judge themselves by their business and financial success. If they’re in a dead-end job they see themselves as losers. It’s unfair and incorrect (at least to the women who love them) but that’s how they feel and it impacts on their relationships.
Actually, getting him into school and on the road to a career that makes him happier could put some passion back into your marriage. His new attitude about himself will enable you to view him as the guy you fell in love with, not the guy with all the responsibilities and an uphappy outlook on life.
If you love him and he loves you, divorce should not be an option. Think about him in the arms of another woman and then decide whether or not he’s worth the effort to make this marriage work. Good luck.