He is 18, his girlfriend is 15, and he says they are each others soul mates. He feels that people put too much emphasis on “things” like income and not enough on “love.” He feels that with love, everything else can be handled. He’s upset that “society” places such a high value on having a good job and making lots of money. He says it’s hypocritical that he could join the Army when he was 17 but wasn’t old enough to get married.
I know there is no changing this young man’s mind about marriage. He and his girlfriend will have to learn by experience why love isn’t the only ingredient necessary to sustain a marriage.
Maturity that can only come from time spent living in this world is one such ingredient. You get that maturity when you’re on your own, not living in your parent’s house. There is no greater teacher than having to depend solely on yourself for survival for several years.
For two “kids” to enter into a commitment of such major proportions without being fully prepared is irresponsible. Unfortunately, many kids do exactly that and when they run into the numerous roadblocks that anyone of any age has a chance of running into, they retreat back to the home they were so eager to get away from. A lot of them by that time have children of their own.
It is common for three generations to live in the same home?not always because the eldest generation wants their children and grandchildren living with them but because their children are not adequately prepared to live on their own, a fact they found out the hard way.
It’s becoming more common, also, for grandparents to raise their grandkids because the parents don’t choose to accept the responsibility for them once they experience the amount of commitment it takes to be a parent.
The age debate and who should be allowed to take charge of their own future will continue. Since it will, it might as well be a topic that’s debated here. After all, who is better qualified to discuss the disadvantages of early marriage than those of you who are here now because you married too young.
And who is better qualified to discuss the opposite view than those of you who married young and have been in a successful long term marriage. (Although I would question why you would be visiting a divorce support blog if that was the case.)