There are numerous things that money can buy but there is no amount of money that can buy any one of us more time on this earth. Regardless of who we are or how affluent we are, billionaires or paupers, the “time” given to rich and poor is not negotiable.
At middle age, starting around 40, the reality of time running out, as evidenced by physical aging, the onset of serious illnesses and even the death of family and friends, can start both men and women on a frenetic journey of self-discovery and re-evaluation of their life’s goals.
At midlife, many people try to “make right” what they perceive to be wrong in their lives. It is the time of “correction” before they’re too old to have a choice, too old to care. It is a journey sometimes called a “midlife transition” but more often referred to as a “midlife crisis.”
In 1998, one of the forums on my Friends & Lovers website had a lot of members who were dealing with middle-aged divorce, adultery, and other midlife issues. Because I thought these members needed a better place for support than a primarily dating site, I created a new website and forum which I called The Midlife Wives Club. It didn't take long before men discovered the site and joined the club prompting a name change to The Midlife Club. Members of The Midlife Club now include men and women in crisis as well as men and women dealing with the crisis of a significant other.
The Midlife Club has an active forum with a chat room, both open 24/7. Discussions are ongoing and usually quite intense although there are times that silliness prevails.
Along with the support comes great wisdom as men and women discover their inner strengths while dealing with crisis issues. It is that wisdom that inspired the book How To Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis: Strategies and Stories from The Midlife Wives Club published by Perigee in 2003 and republished in 2011 by Home & Leisure Publishing, Inc.
Understanding why a person “suddenly” changes, learning not to take their actions personally, and finding forgiveness for their actions, are all part of surviving a spouse’s midlife transition. While we often say someone is having a midlife crisis, it’s more likely that their transition is causing a crisis for those who love them.