A Need To Manage Anger

i had a big row with my boyfriend he want to end the relationship i was very upset and said fine but i told him he will never see his son again once i go with that he put his hands round my throat and pulled me on the and started shouting in my face this is the first time he’s done that i love him but i don’t want to stay with him if he’s going to do that again what should i do.

I didn’t answer as soon as I received this as I have been trying to give a response that will make sense to you.

Both of you made serious mistakes. He hurt you by saying he wanted to leave. You used your child as a weapon to hurt him by tellingĀ him he’d never see his child again. I can understand why that would make him angry but that does not excuse his behavior when he grabbed your throat.

Are the two of you mature enough to sit down and talk through your problems without shouting or getting physical? Can you work things out or would your son be better off living with one of you in a quieter home with scheduled visits and sleepovers with the other parent?

Is there an impartial person that can provide face-to-face counseling for the two of you? Or is your boyfriend’s mind made up that he’s leaving? People say things in the heat of anger that they don’t mean; did he really mean to end the relationship? Did you really mean you would keep his son from him if he did?

Not all relationships are meant to last but if they must end it should be the parents’ first responsibility to make certain the children do not become damaged in the process.

I don’t know enough about the history of your relationship to know if it’s solid enough to last. Only the two of you know whether it’s worth the work.